Thursday, December 22, 2005


Because God is love....

All my intentions should be governed by love. If I don't have love in me, the Kingdom of Heaven is not in me. If I have love, God is with me. If I don't practice love, I'm not practising Godliness. If I can't learn to love to my brother whom I see, I am a liar if I say that I love God, whom I can't see. Because God is love, He is the source of love. So if love doesn't flow out of me, my heart doesn't have Jesus in it... If I don't love love, I don't love God. Love must be evident,
it must be seen. Because if people don't see love, they don't see God either. Therefore my love towards people must be of action, expressed with something tangible. Love flowed out proves the existence of love inside. If I can show love, I can prove that God does exist.

Friends, what does the statement "God is love" mean to you?I invite you to share your thoughts and your conviction by completing the sentence "Because God is love..."

Thursday, December 15, 2005

He said it...

"You said 'Ask and I'll give the nation to you'. Oh Lord, that's the cry of my heart - Distantshores and the islands will see Your light..."
If you wait a little while longer you'll be hear this song playing. It's one of my favourite songs - You Said - speaking about the promises of God. Truly nothing compares to the promises we have in this Dream-Giver - as I sung it over and over again last night, I'm reminded.  I don't know how this song will minister to you. I just pray that it'll remind that God is faithful and true to His word. So never lose hope. May our eyes be opened to see His glory, His victory, His Kingdom.
You said, "Ask and you'll receive, whatever you need"
You said, " Pray and I'll hear from heaven, and I'll heal your land"
You said Your glory will fill the earth, like water the sea
You said, "Lift up Your eyes - the harvest is here, the Kingdom is near"
You said, "Ask and I'll give the nation to you"
Oh Lord, that's the cry of my heart
Distant shores and the islands will see Your light
as it rises on us
Oh Lord, I ask for the nations...

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Known or Evaluated

I think this message is an amazing one. What do you live for - to be known or to be evaluated? Our choice will be reflected in our actions, our behaviour, our character, and ultimately, determines our destiny. Wow... I strongly recommend everyone to read this. Look deep within and be  HONEST with yourself.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Finding a balance

As of now, I am suffering from lack of rest, of which last night reached the climax (3 hours of sleep). For about a month or so, work has really taken a toll on me. Apart from having favour to attend church programmes, I've been working late nights every night. Reaching home late, sleeping late, waking up early. Having exams this week (Tuesday and Thursday), I took leave from Tuesday noon till Thursday, and had one whole day for rest and study on Wednesday. And well, all the effort has paid off, for the exams, anyway. I had to focus on the few subjects I want to study as I can't possibly make up for the times I missed class. Thank God, everything went according to plan.

But now as I type, my body is weak, and so is my soul, both deprived of many things I've used to enjoy before this whole being-a-grown-up thing... it's a whole new experience, and it has opened up my eyes. Past training has helped me to cope and handle many new challenges with maturity, wisdom, and in some ways, homour. But still there's so much to learn, so much more to improve...

Without a doubt my heart's desire is to reach my colleagues with the love of God. My intention (or desired intention, if you may) is to share the love of Jesus because I've tasted and I know what this love is. Love is my main objective, not conversion. And my colleagues seem to like my non-offending, non-rebuking, non-condemning way of carrying myself as a Christian. They like it that I don't threathen the beliefs they hold or their way of life. They like it that I'm not like the other Christians they know, always trying to win them into joining their religion and church. And their liking has caused my soul to be troubled.

The gospel is an offending message, in some ways. It says that you're not good enough to redeem yourself from the consequences of your evilness. It tells you that no man is good, except God. It tells you that you need to die to yourself, in order that you gain the eternal life. It tells you that on that day, God judges all deeds, both hidden and known, good and evil...

And so as I run with this God-given dream to display that undying love through a potrait of life, I want my life to be a display of that balance between the extremes - to love enough to speak forth truth, to love enough to just love. And so help me, God.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Could I ever

When I woke up today, I thought of all the things I've done, and all the things He's done - showing grace time and time again. It's so hard to comprehend that kind of love, and it is this very mystery is what drives me to desire to know this Dream-giver. And maybe you too, are overcomed by it all.

And I know that this Dream-giver, or grace-giver, if you will, loved me and loves me even when I don't love Him back. He still extends, with arms open wide, that invitation to participate in His resurrected life and His coming Kingdom. But I, and maybe even you, still am incapable of extending that same grace to others. Not like how Jesus would.

Yes, I wonder if I would still struggle - to look in the eye of a unrepentive someone with love and compassion; to love and accept without pre-judgment; to meet a need before pointing out a wrong; to hate the sin and still love the sinner. Could I ever be like the One who gave such amazing grace and love? Could I ever live and walk reflecting these awesome gifts of forgiveness and salvation?

So once again, Lord, I stand in awe at the foot of the tree, knowing that You hung there bearing my sins even when my heart was lost. Change my heart, thoughts, and attitude. Help me love like You do. May my heart truly belong to You, and be Yours.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

All the same

"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23

I think this verse sets everything clear. There is no man on earth who can claim that he is better than another. Nope. No matter what deeds a person have performed - good or bad... Everyone needs to change, everyone needs to improve, everyone can contribute something to make the world a better place. W e all have something we are ashamed of, which makes us the same and therefore have nothing to be ashamed of. It's just that you and I face different problems. Some are addicted to smoking, to drugs, to sex, to gambling, to pride - all of us need a saviour.

I think it's better to have such a perpective. It opens up so much more opportunities for healing, for making the world a better place. Judging others only binds their soul even more, but relating and understanding breaks down many walls. Yes, rules and regulations are necessary. But rarely do people change because greater punishment have been imposed. Yes, it's important to point out the wrong and stand for the truth. But a child won't grow up healthy if a parent keeps pointing out how dumb he is. No one will ask you for help if you constantly point out their wrong. That hurts the soul even more.

We need to make practical steps to help people to get out of their bad habits, their addictions. And it has to start with love. It has to start with breaking down our pride and self-righteousness. It has to start with the realisation that it's the blood of Jesus that has cleansed and clothed us with His righteousness. Without it we are nothing, so let's stop pretending we are worth something. Let's stop categorizing people and placing judgement. Deep inside, we are all needing a saviour, a healer, a restorer, a comforter, a friend. We're all the same.

If we really want to help make the world a better place, we have to live knowing truth and grace, appreciating truth and grace, sharing truth and grace. Jesus is the Saviour we need.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Not one of those sometimes...

Last night I received an sms from a friend I've known forever. He hasn't been coming to church, as he's running the father's business everyday. Not forgetting that he has to juggle time for college and assignments as well. A while he came to me with some questions, and since then God has placed him in my heart. But it just seems impossible to meet up with him.

So once again I received an sms from him. My heart rejoiced to see his name. But this time he wants to make a decision. He had to make a decision, the right one. In the midst of all those sms going in and out of my handphone, I could feel the struggle within him. He really wants to do the right thing, but he can't overcome his desires. He needed someone to be right beside him. I was there, but not physically there.

I gave him all the words I know. But in my heart, I really wonder if he had done the right thing at the end of the night. I wonder what I could have done with a driving license and a car. Sure, sometimes just a short message could free someone from their pain and struggle. But last night was not one of those sometimes...

Jesus, you know what needs to be done. It's You who have placed this in my heart. Make it happen, Lord. Equip me to carrying out Your mission, to fulfill Your passion. Let all the prodigals run home. Amen.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

My Dream

It's my birthday today - 21 years old. My supervisor couldn't believe it and suggested that I get a plastic surgery. He said I look older than my age, and I don't blame him. When I was 18, a church member thought I was 24. But it doesn't really matter, I know who I am.

My brother, who is now in Australia studying song-writing and theology, asked the right question. He asked me 'how does it feel being a 21-year old?'... It feels like it's way past to make an impact here on earth. It feels like I'm living on borrowed time, solely on grace alone... There's a mission that has to be accomplished, there's a dream that must be fulfilled, there's a hope that must be passed on, there's a script to be completed, there's a story that needs an ending, there's more love to give...

But as I say to my youth group, the Dream-Giver isn't interested in what we do or accomplish - that's how the world measures your worth. Yes, the world judges facts. They look at your certificates, at your trophies, at your bank account, your accomplishments and failures... What He really wants is YOU. And so He looks into your heart. The Dream-giver, in my opinion, dreams not to have things done, but that His creation fulfills their purpose, their function.

So really, this is my dream - to fulfill the Dream-giver's dream - to be all He has destined me to be from the very beginning. And so as I continue to write a script about knowing the Father's love, I allow Him to be the mastermind of it all.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Lah, the Malaysian Language

After months of consideration, I have finally decided to publish a new blog with the title above. The difference between this blog you're reading now and my new one is rather obvious, in my opinion lah. Reading my posts here would be like listening to my sharing in a youth service or prayer meeting (of course the real ones have more illustration with body language and jokes), while reading Lah would be like talking to me in person. Of course, I don't always talk that way, only when I'm given a chance to (which is rare). I'll be sharing more on the real life happenings in my life - the things I see, how I perceive the situaition, and what I think should be done. I think of it as beginning a conversation, so I invite you to join me and share your thoughts as well. I'll surely still be writing here, so there's no need to conduct a funeral or enter a mourning period... See you there... and here too.

Where are you?

Have you ever directed a friend to your house through the phone? Some conversations work out well, with the friend arriving with minimal amount of time and money wasted. Some conversation goes on and on for like half an hour, with the end result being we meeting them at the place where they are, and guiding them back to our house. Ever since my childhood days, I would follow my dad for visitations, and often times we are the ones asking for directions and troubling others to pick us up... It was only last night that I had the experience of directing someone to my house, and I have finally figured out the problem.

You see, the conversation through the phone last night didn't work out as well as I hoped for. As I was working towards where they were, I felt partly responsible. My best friend would testify that I give lousy directions. So along the way I kept thinking about what I could have done better to avoid leaving my food on the table and my soccer match on tv... I was basically kicking myself until I saw the car - I gave him correct directions, but he gave me a wrong indication of where he is. He said KFC was on his left hand side, but turns out that KFC was really behind him. He couldn't give me a clear indication of where he was, so even though I gave right directions, I couldn't guide him to his destination.

There are two sides to this. If you want to reach your destinastion, you first have to know where you are. If you don't know where you are, correct directions won't help you, simply because you are lost in the first place. In our walk towards Christ-likeness, we often go round and round in circles because we don't know where we are in our spiritual walk with God. Pride makes us think we are alright. Sometimes pretending is so easy that we fool ourselves. Our leaders and friends try to help us grow, but we mislead them and they in turn mislead us. We must be honest with ourselves. We need to allow the Holy Spirit to search our hearts and open our eyes. This has to be a crucial practice for all who earnestly desire to grow, be the person God has destined us to be, and live the life that Jesus promised to us.

Secondly, if you want to lead and guide someone, you'll have to know where they are exactly. Asking the correct questions would be helpful. But sometimes we just have to meet that person where they are in order to guide. It's hardwork and inconvenient, that's for sure. I suppose to do this, you have to either really like that person, or be compelled by the love of God. Patience really goes a long way.

Just sharing random thoughts. Hope I can find a better to present this... That's for another day.

Friday, September 30, 2005

I've been tagged!!

I have officially tagged with the following::

"The explosion of the blog world in the last year has led to countless quality blogs being started, but sometimes it is hard to find them amongst all the other blog muck. Because there are so many quality blogs out there, I though I would try to start a meme to send some eyeballs toward those unknown bloggers. So, share a blog you think more people should read, and then tag 5 others (who hopefully read your blog!) to do the same."

Like the blogger who tagged me, I'm going to go against the rules, but with a greater twist. I'm recommending 6bloggers and 8 blogs... Try beating that...

Jeff, at So I Go and So I Go Volume II , writes above his personal journey of learning to do as Jesus would. I get excited whenever I read his blog, because he's living and fulfilling my dream and getting really close to it too. Most of the time, I get choked up and lose my words... I imagine both of us sitting together for tea and having a conversation... only that he's doing all the talking, and I'll be taking down notes... Hmm, a recorder would be easier... I suggest that you read from chapter one... He has a lot of faith and I really salute him for that.

Virginia demonstrates how creative our God is through her blogs, Meet Virginia and 4535. I admire her because she understands what it means to be church and really goes out there and do it. You know how we miss the simpliest and most beautiful things in life? I don't think she has that problem... I can see her as an inspiration to many others around her. Maybe she'll inspire you too, to break out of the norm and honour God the way He created you to...

Lex pours out her heart over at My Scribbles. I think she has the ability to connect and identify with many people... Maybe because she's so honest and sincere with her feelings, I don't think she's in it for readership (if there is such a word). She has wisdom beyond her age too. I'm blessed by God's revelations to her and through her.

Then there's
Curious Servant over at Job's Tale, exploring the life of Job... He has some really interesting going on there. I think of him as sometime who is strong yet humble. I also believe that he has personally experience the amazing power of prayer and we all can learn from that. If you're feeling disappointed with God and praying, you would probably want to talk to him.

Jenny, over at One Step at aTime, is more like my age. She is a young lady who seeks to please God with her life and in everything she does. She raises questions that I believe many teenage Christians seek answers to. She's brave and sincere. But what I really admire her for is her humility and willingness to learn from others. You rarely see that in a youth nowadays...

And finally, there's
my dad, who happens to be my pastor and my mentor. He gives a lot of wisdom to balance up my energy. At OurGIG, he shares his journey of forming a community that is safe for people to be honest with their struggles and grow together with love and support of others. I love his vision and I hope he succeeds.

That's all folks. Gina, Lex, Curious Servant (i wish I have your real name), Jenny, and dad - you have been officially tagged.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Appreciating my team

Allyssa, willpower and determination are your strongest assets. It’s easy to put you in charge of a task when your heart is there. I believe that by developing disciples, teaching and investing in others, you will have a breakthrough you never thought possible. The journey won’t be easy, but God wants to make you whole, Allyssa. For you, I pray for
freedom from fear.

Ken Chung, I’m always hard on you, I know. And I’m thankful that you can take all of it. You don’t know what you can do, my friend!! And God wants to show you, just be attentive and focused. Always hope for good, don’t let your soul be downcast. The joy of the Lord is your greatest source of strength. As much as you give, receive His joy. For you, I pray for favour and blessing

Jacklyn, you achieve greatness whenever you have belief in yourself and in what you do. The gifts you possess are keys to many doors, so equip yourself well. Ask God for a vision, ask Him what you lack and desire for those things. Desire also to grow, because you know you can. I’m glad you are in the team, because I deem you a trustworthy friend. I pray that you will
know and experience the security of His love.

Jason, you have a strong spirit. Your enthusiasm is infectious. People say you speak too much when you’re voicing your thoughts, but that’s just because one sentence from you is sufficient to convince a crowd. Your circle of influence is great, and so therefore is your responsibility. Humility and being teachable will take you a long way. And I’m glad you have that. Now work on it even more.

Li Fern, God has blessed you with a gentle spirit. You are approachable, a quality I’m learning to project. Your willingness to take instructions from a younger person amazes me. Your calmness and wisdom meet a great need of the team. Continue to equip yourself and grow, because you are destined for much more. Pray also for a breakthrough in your life. I’ll be praying along with you.

Joseph, Joseph, Joseph… I appreciate you, friend. You may not know it, but through you God has planted many good seeds in my heart. And I believe you have done the same for many others in the youth ministry. Like it or not, your every move affects the younger ones who look up to you. Step up to the mark, the call is on you now. It’s a privilege - so don’t lose it. There are many things I wish I could do as good as you. For you, I pray for
a vision for your own life.

Rachael, you do so many things quietly in the background. So many times you go out the extra mile for the ones God placed in your heart. I pray that you will have revelations of His love every day. He has a tedious task for you, and He has indeed designed your heart for His purposes. He’s wants you to rely on His strength, though. Sometimes it’s hard to figure Him out and that gets frustrating, I know. But His faithfulness shines through, you’ll see. For you, I pray for healing and rest.

Jonathan, you know the things you are capable of. I think I have failed you in terms of giving you space to express your God-given gifts. Forgive me, I’m still figuring things out. Maybe you can help me… All I know, God wants to set you free, because He wants to use you greatly. For you, I pray for child-like faith – You can move mountains.

May, you’re my best friend. I thank God for your contribution into my well-being and the ministry. I can’t possible imagine the hurts and blows you take for me. This journey has made me a broken but stronger person, and I pray that it has had the same effect on you. God has many things installed for you. For you, I pray for hope.

Caleb, you are a pillar of strength, seriously. Your responses are excellent indeed. Everyone loves you!! I see greatness in you, and you are on the right track, my friend. Keep Jesus as your first love, that’s all you need to make sure of. For you, I pray for
boldness and courage to speak out your heart.

Esther, you have a big heart. I see you now faithful with the small things, and that’s a good thing. I hear the dreams you have and don’t see what’s stopping you from being a planet shaker for Jesus. Just do it, girl!! Make some initiative, and I can envision you truly touching others under Christ’s hands. For you, I pray for faith.

Each one of you gives balance to the team, and you remind me that apart from being a youth leader, I’m suppose to be a youth. Your jokes (and elaborations of them) make it hard to be serious at the meeting table. But having loud meetings are so much better than quiet ones. There are times, though, when I wonder if I’m the only one awake there. Other times, I feel like the dumbest person in the room. Overall, it’s been fun working with each one of you…

Looking past everything else, there’s great potential in each one of you. And it’s my desire to see you fulfill your maximum. I pray that I’ll be an important contributor towards your journey. But even more so, I pray not to be the stumbling block. You make me want to be a better person, to reach for the sky, and to fulfill God’s purposes in my life.

Throughout this journey, I have experienced and learned a lot. My perspective on God’s love, life and people has changed. No doubt, there were some hurtful moments, but God was always in control. And He always will be. I am grateful for your partnership. You make every dream possible. I love all of you. And I love your love for our God, our Dream-giver.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

My MP3 Player

On my 20th birthday my dad gave me an MP3 player. It was one of the coolest things I’ve received. Unfortunately, it took me a year to finally understand how to use my MP3 player… Yes, I’m an idiot. So sue me…

Walking out from college last night, I decided to put on the earphones and sing along with Joel Houston and Marty Sampson of Hillsong – United. Sure, there was the danger of worshipping my way straight to heaven as I walked through the busy (and sometimes deadly) traffic of Kuala Lumpur. But hey, I suppose that’s a small price to pay to be cool… Ni’h.

So I was this cool dude walking along the streets of KL town, right? With my laptop bag hanging on my shoulder and my jacket and all… it was as though I was making a music video, man!! Then I was worshipping God and singing “Tell the world that Jesus lives, tell the world… that He died for them”… Wo, could you imagine me being more “saint”?

Then He interrupted me, ruin my groove (He’s so annoyingly creative this dude!!). He had me looking at the guy sitting at the roadside… He had a cigarette in his hand, and hopelessness in his eyes. He was probably homeless. I slowed down for a moment, but I continued on my journey to the train station. Nevertheless,
He had me…

Sometimes we Christians tend to be so heavenly minded that we don’t have any earthly value. We get so caught up with new songs, great seminars, and better programmes for the church community… We want so much to create heaven here on earth, we long for home. But we forgot that we have a task to do here on earth. We, like me, probably like to stuff our ears with our earphones and ignore everything that’s crying out for our intervention.

I began to reflect upon the dreams that He have given me and the calling He has placed upon my generation… I think about the script I’m writing for this awesome Dream-Giver… I imagine how many lives will be touched and changed by it… Then I wonder if the hopeless and homeless man would be impressed by it. I seriously doubt it…

Lord, I thank you for the promise of heaven and the dreams you entrusted me to fulfill here on earth. Please help me to be useful and practical here on earth, that Your heavenly purposes may be fulfilled. Use me as Your hands and feet, that Your will be done here on earth, as it is in heaven. If you can use anything, Lord, you can use me… Teach me to be of earthly value too.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Thursday, September 15, 2005

There's this feeling

The Sunday before last's Jacklyn and I led worship for our church service. After the service there was a worship team meeting, and we received many good feedback. It was funny, though... As they were talking I was reflecting upon what we did on stage that morning. Was it that good? Did it require that much skill? Were we that good? Because I wasn't leading worship that morning, I was being led...

A prophet once told me that God is wiling to shine His glory upon me because He knows that I won't take credit for it, and that I'll reflect all the praises back to Him... Looking back, I feel that God was dealing with me the same way He dealt with Gideon. You know, the way God called a coward a mighty man of valor... I don't know how far I have run with this God-given dream of mine, I could be a million miles away from fulfilling His calling upon my life. But His favour, His trust towards me, His love, His presence, His grace - all so ever close...

Looking forward, I'll be worship leading again on the first Sunday of October. And there's this feeling... A fear. Not a fear of others expectation, though. It's the feeling of confusion, of what-shall-I-do-next... It's as though as I have reached the end of myself... I can't do it anymore. I can't lead the people - not to where they were on that Sunday morning. And I think of it as a blessing...

Matthew 5:3 "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule." (The Message)

Friday, September 09, 2005

A fresh start

After 7 hours of waiting, my laptop is finally back - up and running. You see, I encountered a blue screen today. For those you don't know - when you get a blue screen, it means that your PC is in big trouble. Your hard disc could be down, or a virus has invaded into your PC... Whatever the cause, your PC is basically useless until you reinstall the Operating System... As for me, I had to wait for my colleague's external CD-ROM in order to initiate the recovery process. So in the office today, I was basically useless...

So, what caused my laptop to cease to perform as it's suppose to? Well, I didn't follow an instruction my colleague told me to "get Windows update every now and then, it's the company's practice". Sounds simple enough, right? I messed that up. If I had done so, my laptop and I wouldn't have had a day like this. Thankfully, today I didn't lose anything important, considering that they are mostly retrivable from the company server.

It sure does serve as a hard reminder, though. When I'm not constantly connected to the Dream-giver, leaning on my own strength and trusting my own intellect, there would come a regretful day where everything is gone and I wish that I had followed a simple instruction. It would also be a day reflecting and pondering on what it would be like and how much better I would have perform if I only I had...

So now as I am typing on a renewed keyboard, operating on a fresh O/S, in my heart there is some sort of desire and determination, to hide in that secret place and set my eyes and heart on the Words of Life... It's time to see my reflection on that mirror full of truth and grace once again...

Friday, September 02, 2005

He always does that

God has been so kind… too kind in my opinion, but I don’t mind… I need His kindness. I need His grace.

Somehow He loves us so much. He just does… My faith is firmly dependant on this mysterious fact. Every gift, every talent, every opportunity, every situation is a God-given chance for us to store up treasures in heaven. It’s as though He’s saying, “Here, take this. Use it the way I ask of you, and you’ll have a reward.” He wants to give us life here on earth as well as rewards in heaven.

As I was sitting by the opened window of a fast-moving bus last night, His wind just swept over me. I felt His presence, His anointing… I don’t know what I have done to deserve it, but He just began to pour out into my soul. Once again the Dream-Giver gave me a dream, a vision of hope. He always does that. He never fails to trust, to give, to love, to hope… His mercy endures forever. I don’t deserve it, I don’t understand it… but I definitely want it.

Such an enduring friend I have… Amazing…

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Walk together

Sometimes you can't make it on your own...

Friday, August 12, 2005

Hold my hands

I was in Genting Highlands for the past four days to participate in the Youth Pastors’ School organized by Youth Alive Malaysia. Awana Resort has really great food, and so I’m not too convinced that me skipping lunch hid the effects of my indulgence… So if you’re organizing a camp and you want the campers to wake up early, make sure you serve great breakfast =.]

Met the great people who are running with the God-given dream of touching Malaysian youth with the love of Jesus. I felt relaxed because it was my first decent holiday since I started work 5 months ago and the air was really fresh. I felt light because I was away from all duties and responsibilities of being me. As we gather, I felt significant yet ordinary, because we are all young people facing the same challenges as the youth we try to help everyday. I guess what makes us different is that someone saw the potential in us and was unwilling to give up on us. And it’s in our hearts to the same for someone else. I felt belonged.

In my conversations with this Dream-Giver of mine and interactions with other dream-runners, I was once again reminded of the significance of fulfilling my God-given dream. The reminder sends shivers, and I’m still feeling it. I knew the importance, but what I lacked was the fear of God. And still now the reminder is sinking in… What a tremendous responsibility to carry the souls of many in our hands!! What a task and honour to bring live-changing, captive-freeing truth to the masses!!

I don’t know how to emphasize what I’m feeling inside of me. All I can say is that we are given the power to impact and alter the destiny of many souls, with the deciding factor being the way we live our lives….

So hold my hands, Lord. Walk with me in this journey of fulfilling my God-given dream and answering the call. I can’t do it alone, so open my eyes to see the people You have ordained to run alongside me. I can’t do it without You, so cast me not away from Your presence. I can’t do it without the fear of God, so send shivers and awaken my soul.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

The Door

At the foot of the Tree, there's a door.
The door to life, and life abundant.
And it's calling you and I to enter in.
Would you answer the call?

Can a nation be changed?

"When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land".

"But if you turn away and forsake the decrees and commands I have given you and go off to serve other gods and worship them, then I will uproot Israel from my land, which I have given them, and will reject this temple I have consecrated for my Name. I will make it a byword and an object of ridicule among all peoples. And though this temple is now so imposing, all who pass by will be appalled and say, 'Why has the LORD done such a thing to this land and to this temple?' People will answer, 'Because they have forsaken the LORD, the God of their fathers, who brought them out of Egypt, and have embraced other gods, worshiping and serving them—that is why he brought all this disaster on them.' "

The passage above, taken from 2 Chronicles 7, speaks something every loud, every clear to me...

The fate of the nation is in the hands of the saints.

Yes, that's right. The way that we live has an immediate effect on what happens to our nation. I see the evil of this world and how governments go about controlling and solving the problems caused... You know them, so I don't need to mention them. And we also know that the root problem really is the human heart. No government, no law, no amount of counselling can change the evil in our hearts. So what can we do about it?

Well, it's simple really. Humble yourself, pray, seek God, turn from our wicked ways. Then the Faithful One will forgive our sins and heal our nation. Not the sins of the criminals, your non-Christian parents... no. We need to humble ourselves and turn from our wicked ways. That means we stop pointing fingers and blaming others, because the way I live has an immediate effect on the crime rate of this country, the sorrow and emptiness my friends have deep within them, the divorce rate... Yes!! I need God to change my heart, not someone else's!! Do you see it?! When I turn from evil, He turns and listen to our cries to HEALING FOR THIS NATION.

Want to change a nation? Change your heart.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005


God's faithfulness shines through.
The Light of the world calls us. Answer the call.
Be a light.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Guarding Your Post

I came back from playing soccer yesterday evening with a valuable lesson.

Do you know the power of one? One out-of-tune string causes a guitar to sound bad. One musician with stomach upset can cause a song to be played in a slower tempo. One bad statement can hurt someone for a lifetime. One bad thought leads to a thousand crimes. One letter of appreciate lifts up one's spirit...

In the body of Christ, we are one body. Unfortunately, a body consist of many parts. Some like to play rock and roll, some like it jazzy and smooth. Some prefer playing A minor rather than a C major. Some goalkeepers like to play outfield. Some likes to play the off-side trap, some prefer playing it safe. Some like to hold the ball longer, some like to play the direct ball. Some like to sing the same song a thousand times, some just can't stand it after the 3rd time. Some like to be in the lime-light, some insist they're too ugly to be on camera.

We are all made with different temperaments. God intended it to be that way. We can't all be the same person. Imagine everyone having your name and looking just like you... God created everyone to be unique and different for a purpose, and no one can do that thing that you're created to do better than you!! One could have many different gifts, but everyone should only focus only on the things that the God has called them to do. "But coach, I can play so much better as the right winger. Let him play defence." Sometimes we feel we can lead better than our leader, preach better than our pastor, sing better than that back-up singer, play the electric guitar better than punk dude... And it could be true sometimes. But there can only be so many wingers and strikers, you stay and guard your post. You're playing for the team, you're playing for the Coach. So just stay and guard your post. Let others learn to do their part.

Let there be only one voice shouting the instructions, one captain leading the flow, one coach making the shots. You stay and guard your post.


In this journey of running with a God-given dream, or even our walk with the Dream-Giver, we often get stuck in some place... Somehow we become lost and confused, unsure of the road ahead or which path to take, or we just simply go blank... We know what the ultimate goal is, we know how to get there... At lease we though we did... And so we plan and we plan and we plan, but now we find ourselves caught in between our past and our future...

This time is the time to make a choice - shall we quit and give up the dream? Or shall we wait for the light that brings hope? Shall we get frustrated with our imcompetence? Or shall we continue to look to the Everlasting? Shall we drift away from our course, or shall we wait for HOPE?

As we are now here, stuck in a moment that we can't get out of, in the middle of running with a God-given dream or writing a script, I've concluded that we have probably strayed away from the source of Life. Maybe it's time to run back into the arms of rest and comfort, to regain our original identity by casting away our masks and laying down our crowns and our know-hows... To just know and be known all over again... To trust and lean not on our own strength... Sometimes we forget who ultimately and rightfully deserves to be in control.

And so as this runner / script writer gets stuck in this place where there are no words left to pen down and no story line to work with, I am reminded that the Dream-Giver is still waiting to be a part of this dream and this script-writing team... Oh boy, how could we miss that?? What a bummer... This time and the next, I must remember to remain stuck to the One who has stuck with this runner, this dreamer...

Monday, July 11, 2005

Back to the Basics

For the past few mornings, I've had an opportunity to jog around my neighbourhood. I've always wanted to develop this habit of waking up early and going for a prayer-jog around my neighbourhood. It's just that I've been unwilling to kick my late nights... I thank God for making things easier for me. Now I know how great it feels, I won't want to be miss these mornings again.

One thing I find strange though. Despite the fresh air and just a 15-minute run, I find myself tired and my body is unwilling to run further... But I play soccer, man!! I'm a soccer player, the type that works hard and plays smart. I could run all over the football field for 1 and a half hours, but I can't run for 5 minutes more?

I guess in a game, I get all hyped up by the desire to win, the passion to be a team player, the adrenaline rush of creating a flow... Jogging though, whell, it's important and necessary for building up stamina for the real game. Yes, a well trained stamina sustains you through the extra time and protects you from injuries... All professionals spend much amount of time for warm up, building muscles, increasing stamina... They have to go through lots of practices and trainings. You skip training, and you're not included in the squad. But it's just some boring routine, coach... There's no one there to cheer you on, no one appaulding your fancy skills, no one admiring the strong muscles of your legs... It's just you and your training, and thus, a lack of drive and motivation... We prefer to go straight onto the field and showcase our talents, get appreciated and feel loved.

God, help me to focus on the basics - leaning on Your strength, resting in Your presence, knowing Your words and doing only the things You asked of me in Your timing. Help to die to myself and be less concerned with the cheers and acknowlegdement of men, which are momentary. Keep my eyes focused on the everlasting... Let my run be an overflow of my walk with You. I want to live my life for the Dream-Giver, not the dream...

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Lost and Found

Have you ever lost your ID? Do you have any idea how much they charge you for a new one these days? RM40!! RM40!! Punishing people for being careless, ok lah... but what about those who got robbed? What if you're from out of town, and all you have has just been stolen? You won't have any money to go and get a new ID, for one. And you can't renew your ATM cards too because you have to have a temporary ID issued by the government for which you have to pay RM40, which you don't have because you just got robbed and you can't get a new ATM card... What are you going to do??

No man is an island. No man can be an island. Say you're that poor guy who just got robbed... Probably some kind people or the police would let you use their phones to call home. But what if no one from your hometown is willing to come down and lend you RM40? Some may pity you and suggest transferring money into your bank account, but you don't have access to it so what's the use...

Losing your identity card is just like losing your identity. Your faithful serving bank won't acknowledge you = your money won't acknowledge you, your government who works for your good won't acknowledge you... oh, what more when you lose all your money? So many more people won't even turn their eyes toward you... So who can you turn to for help?

Do you know someone who loves you so much so that person is willing to lay aside everything at hand just to assist you – meeting your needs, walking with you through it all and till you get back on your feet – even though it was your own carelessness that led you into the mess in the first place? Is there someone in your life who's willing to love your unconditionally? Do you know for sure?

I know for sure that the Dream-giver would never leave me nor forsake me. Sometimes I carelessly misplace my identity, loose my footing, and fall away from the track He chose for me. Sometimes I fail to hold on to this identity which He gave me whenever I get rejected, discouraged, dishonoured, disgraced... Sometimes I just throw this identity away because I think I deserve better and I think I know what's best for me and I prefer something more tangible – like money or my identity card. But the Dream-giver never ceases to hope and to love. He's there for me ALL THE TIME.

And so in this times when I'm without an identity card and access to my bank account, I've learned to cling on to things that are far more valuable. I'm reminded of how deeply I'm loved, how much I'm forgiven, and how important relationships are. I've lost some, but gained much, much more.

So who am I without my identity card?


Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Birthday Wish

Jolene, my friend since childhood, is celebrating her 21st birthday today. She invited me to attend her birthday and requested me to give a birthday wish. I suppose it'll be in front of everyone... I don't know how is it going to be like tonight, but here's what I intend to wish Jolene. And the same I wish to all those who will pass through this blogspot of mine. May you experience, know, and truly understanding the Unfailing Love.

I wish you love.

Not the love that buys chocolates and flowers on Valentine’s, but a love that knows and treasures your worth on a daily basis.

Not the love that demands love in return, but a love that is unconditional.

Not the love that runs and flees in times of trouble, but a love that never leaves and never forsakes.

Not the love that varies or fluctuate depending on moods or situations, but a love that stays on no matter what you do or how much make-up you put on and how long it took for you to put them on and how ghostly looking it might make you…

I wish you love.

I wish you love,

A love that’s kind & patience;

A love that doesn’t envy or boast;

A love that doesn't keep score but is ever forgiving;

A love that does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

A love that always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.

A love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I wish you love that never fails.

Is it possible to find such in love in a friend, a father, a mother? Is it possible to give such love? I leave that for you to ponder. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. I wish for you to find that love. Live by that love – give, receive, and share – and you shall live a fulfilled life.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

:: FCC church camp 2004 ::

Up for sale this Sunday!!

My Photo

:: FCC church camp 2004 :: Power of Love - 4 days and 3 nights of God's touch. We weren't expecting anything great when we decided to document it, but now we're glad we did. It was a mountain top experience to remember. I believe that we should experience God's power everyday and every moment, so this vcd serves only as a reminder of the lessons we have learned, the call we have responded to, and the love we have received as a church. I believe that this should be shared with our non-Christian friends too. Let them have a glimpse of the real thing.

This project is a means to an end - the dream. Worked on this with Joseph for over 3 months. We had 8 hours of material to go through, and that's not easy. Trimmed it down to 70 minutes, and it's all good stuff in there. I have enjoyed it everytime I watched it, but maybe it's because I participated in its creation...

Monday, June 27, 2005

The Journey of a Dream

Last week, the Dream-Giver took me on a ride that has changed my life - A ride I never thought I would take... And because of this dream, my life has changed. It's just the beginning now, I wonder how drastic the change this dream will bring in a few years time...

I share this dream together with the 3 partners-of-my-everything. We had to stumble through a few rough paths and some doubts, but we focused on a Godly purpose, a God-given dream… We held on to that dream, because we knew it came from the Unfailing source. Nothing’s gonna stop us now…

And so after giving (in my opinion) little but sufficient information to several people and a youth leaders’ meeting, we headed to KL Sentral… why do they name it Sentral instead of Central anyway? Come on, we don’t have to nationalize every word… I mean, do you have to show that it’s a Malaysian building considering the fact that it’s already IN MALAYSIA? Hope they have a greater purpose than what I assume it to be…

So anyway… Along for the ride I brought some snacks, 2 two-way train tickets, a bag of luggage, my best friend, and the prayers of Kingdom-partners. We rushed down to the platform with our burger and fries and walked along this long, long train. Took us a while to find Coach K1, long enough to regret waiting in line for our McD. But we made it eventually. Turns out that the burger and fries did much good, even without chilly sauce.

We tried, but we probably had only 3 hours of sleep. And the fact that there are no announcements whatsoever didn't make our ride a peaceful one. We had to always be on alert for our stop. Mind you, the sign boards are small (there's only one sign board at every stop) and we're travelling at night. There was this once where the train stopped at Kulai. When it started to move again, May saw the signboard again. And there it was, under the words "Kulai" was in small print - Kempas Baru. I hurried to the door, opened it to check how fast the train was (yes, I was contemplating of jumping down). I headed back to our seat and my secretary reminded me to ask an officer for accurate information. To our relief, he told us that the small print indicated the next stop, which was 10 minutes away... AHHHhhh...

Along the journey, we talked, we prayed, we assured each other by reminding ourselves of the purpose of this journey.Upon on our arrival, my best friend and I were greeted by the millions and millions of.... Nah, no millions. In fact, none of our contacts knew where Kempas Baru was, so we had to pick ourselves up. We were greeted, though, by friendly staffs who taught us how to catch a ride to Skudai. We thanked them, used their toilet, and recovered from the scare. Before we walked down the stairs to the place where the bus will stop, we admired our Dream-Giver's creation and thanked Him for the beautiful scenes, the safe journey, and a clear purpose.

After a satisfying small breakfast, another visit to the toilet, and yet another disappointment towards public transportation, we left that never-heard-before place to fulfill a God-given dream. You see, there were some confusion and different ideas as to why my best friend and I made the trip. No one knew - not even I did - what this dream is all about. Only the Dream-Giver knows, and we were just willing vessels who heard that voice and answered the call. Really, isn't that all that matters?

"No eyes have seen, no ears have heard, of the good that the Lord has prepared for those who wait on Him and hear His voice."
"...for He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than what we could ever dream or imagine..."

In our hearts we kept these words... and so we ran. Not knowing what was and is ahead, we held on to that dream. And this dream may cause much discomfort to many people. There may be fighting, judging, hurtful words, misunderstandings, conflict and strife... I know He didn't promise us a bed of roses when we choose to follow His will and run with His dreams. But I know He said that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. So we are running on the track He asked us to choose, holding on to truth, and believing that through us the Dream-Giver will pour out His life. This is our hope, this is our dream, this is our God-given dream. And I believe that there's nothing in this life could be more fulfilling than running with a God-given dream...

And after RM123 worth of train tickets, 10 meals, 4 visits to a public toilet and 3 trips to the train's toilet (we had a interesting discussion as to how it works), one bath… my best friend and I return to our second home with many beautiful memories and a burden for two little children. Funny how the need has been there for so long now… So many times we fail to see what really matters. God help us, because it’s time to work hard – for meeting needs, sharing dream, inspiring others… and a thinner waistline… ni!!

p.s :

Joe, I really wonder how you come up with the idea that May and I are getting engaged soon. Soon lah, but not that soon...

Jason, thank you for understanding my heart.

May, thanks for coming along for the journey. You know I couldn't do it without you. We share this dream together.

Dream-Giver, You make all things beautiful. Thanks for the opportunity. I know I'm not worthy.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Morning Traffic

Experienced the worst of public transport today… or shall I say, the human heart? Mom and dad sent me to the train station in the morning. They were planning to walk the market several rounds – window-shopping + exercise.

I met a footballer friend yesterday at the station, same time. As I bought the ticket, I wondered if I’ll meet anyone I know… Looked around to check for familiar faces, but all I found was the I-hate-Mondays look even though it’s already Tuesday... I’m used to being alone during most of my travels (to college, office, church). Apart from the waiting (don’t get me started), I enjoy my time on the bus/train. That’s of course when I’m not busy complaining… It will be a time of reflection, self-analysis, recalling something funny, exploring possibilities, and idea generation. I usually achieve these things alone and undistracted.

So there I was… Passed through the gate and on the platform I waited. Checked the timer – oh, 7 more minutes before the next train comes. As my eyes motioned back to the distance, where the train would come, I met another footballer. But even more than that, as I found from our conversation later on, I met another dream-runner.

Funny how we’ve never connected… I guess I never took the time to bother. But this morning we found so many common grounds. We both ride the same ride, for a start. I just found out he was a footballer on Sunday when we played together in a Father’s Day soccer match. Turns out he’s studying the course I’m interested in – Mass Communication. He then shared about his main goal in pursuing this course – it’s a God-given dream, I tell you!!

We continued our conversation as we entered into the crowded train. We got deeper, and I too shared my God-given dream. Wow, I’m seriously not alone!! “This is no coincidence…” I think to myself. We are both riding the same ride indeed!! It’s a divine appointment, and only the Dream-Giver could have pulled it off so flawlessly…

As I walked towards the office, I was again reminded that I had not played football in a while and how much I dislike our public transport system… even though my legs were a bit worn out, I felt my spirit lifted onto a higher ground. The feeling did not transpose into the physical realm, but I could swear that I felt a gush of wind sweep pass me. My heart secretly wished that the track that Prakash and I run on will be as cramped up as that train was… and I believe that as the Dream-Giver continues to give us the grace we need to run with these dreams, this wish of mine will be fulfilled…

And you won’t see morning traffic the same again…

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Death and Life

My friend’s grandaunt passed away. My dad messaged me in the late afternoon, asking me to go and help play the guitar. Musician or not, I had to go… Left work on time, took the train to KL Sentral, waited at Platform 6 for the train that would take me to Mid Valley, the place where I’ll meet my mom. Almost 2 hours later I see her and we managed to get to the funeral on time.

Despite my young age, I’ve attended many funerals… And last night, I attended the most respectful funeral ever. Everyone was sober, quiet, and respectful. It was really a funeral.

As everyone settled down and found their seat, I stood beside my father – the service coordinator. And just beside both of us was the open coffin. Now, I never really liked to see someone’s dead body. I think it’s an anointing… but the atmosphere in that small hall was so serene, and the peace rubbed into me. Boldly I stood side by side the man I consider a gift and a partner in the Kingdom-building work, and I gave my best.

Then the Dream-Giver slipped something into my senses… He always does that sort of thing. He’s just so creative and understanding – He knows the right way to communicate to each individual. That’s why I have faith in this Dream-Giver… anyway…

I’m not sure what it was, but as I strummed that 6-stringed object, I thought I smelled the stench of death. Then dad spoke:

“Do you know who the most alive person in this room?”

“To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord”

“In the presence of the Lord, there is fullness of joy”

Dear Dream-Giver,
Thank you for reminding me that dying to my self and denying the desires of the flesh is a joy. I know that sin separates us. I know that sin leads to death, but your ways are everlasting. Help me overcome sin, that Your original-me may come alive again. Help me die to myself a little bit more everyday. It’s not easy or comfortable, and I may be unattractive to the masses. But I believe that it’s only temporary, and that joy comes in the morning. As I decrease, I know that You’ll increase. Let Your dreams and Your life live in me. Thank you once again…

(New International Version)

Luke 9:23-25
23Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. 25What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?

2 Corinthians 5:14-15
14For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

(The Message)

Luke 9:23-25
23Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat--I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. 24Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. 25What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?

2 Corinthians 5:14-15
14Christ's love has moved me to such extremes. His love has the first and last word in everything we do. Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. 15He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

A Means to An End

Took a personality test together with the youth last Sunday, had several youth leaders beside me to get their opinions and help out with some words that I don’t have in my vocabulary. One thing they see in me is that I’m a task-oriented, realistic person. No doubt about that… sometimes I do fail to be sensitive to the people I work with. I’m still working on that…

I’m quite a creative guy, I think. Few acknowledge that, and that’s fine with me. And so I want to use this gift of mine to spread the good news of grace and hope. It started off with publishing our youth’s very own TOUCH bulletin. That was a long time ago, but I hear people still get glued to them. Then it was producing plays and dramas for our Christmas events. Long, gruesome process… but tremendous fruits. It’s such a joy when people are blessed by my work, our work - God’s work. Along the way, Joseph has helped me much. I think he’s a gift too. We have shared so much together – late nights working on bulletins and scripts, his computer, skills and visions.

I really thank God that these God-given dreams of mine require me to work together with others, to gather resources, to draw inspiration, strength, and encouragement from them. Sure, the process isn’t always pleasant. People forget, grow complacent and lazy, constantly complain, unappreciative… But I prefer group effort than loneliness. Somehow there’s greater pleasure in seeing individuals working towards one goal and actually achieving it, because only the Dream-Giver is capable of doing such a thing. Furthermore, I believe He is not so much task-oriented as He is people-oriented. After all, His task is about people. I get it…

Looking back, I come to realize that God has been giving me dreams through people around me – people who see God’s work in my life. They have guided me in so many ways, and I don’t know where I would have done with myself had they not cast their vision upon me, believed in me, encouraged me, pushed me… So many thanks and appreciation to Carolina, Joseph, Barbara, and my dad…

And in my journey towards fulfilling God-given dreams, I acknowledge that all my efforts are not an end, but means to achieve a dream - a greater dream. No, the Dream-Giver has more in stored for all those who avail themselves for the run. And by the end of this run and the beginning of the next, I’ll see myself arriving at yet another personal milestone. I’ll see many familiar faces too. People who have taken this God-given dream and made it their own – they are the ones who will be alongside me, at that milestone, that end to a mean of THE END. No one will stand out, but everyone on their knees, seeking the Audience of ONE – the Dream-Giver.

Yes, it’s fun running with a God-given dream, especially when you’re not alone.

Monday, June 06, 2005

He endures my nonsense

Only God could have the power to endure my nonsense. He knows me inside out, but He still trust in me. I can’t comprehend, but I’m grateful. I suppose He remembers why He created me in the first place and what His son died on the cross for. Not so that His purposes on earth may be fulfilled. No, no, no. He doesn’t need me. He has legions of angels under His command; He doesn’t need a fallen man like me.

So why does He choose me to trust with His dreams? The only explanation I can come up with is that what He wants is for me to get what I need. There’s nothing in it for Him, seriously. He could have sent Jesus down again, and it’ll all be finished. His will is done with effective and efficiency. Totally unlike now… passing on a dream to me would mean that He has to wait for very very very very very very long. He’ll have to wait for me to grow up, go through the rebellious stage, finally understand about His calling upon my life… not to mention of the many times I’ll rise and fall, run and stumble… boy, He’ll have to be very patient and enduring.

I conclude that running with a God-given dream does most good for myself. Sure, it’ll change some lives, help a few people, give some hope and vision. But the greatest gain is that I fulfill my destiny and know God, and thus, live a fulfilled life. Yes, that’s what He wants to give you and me – the abundant life.

I thank God for enduring me... for my sake.

Friday, June 03, 2005


I believe the biggest question everyone has/will have is this – “What on earth am I here for?”. Now, if you believe that the world was formed after a big bang, then your existence is just an accident, a mistake. Everything around you is make belief, meant solely for survival and pleasure. You’ll be living with “Since I’m here, I might as well” kind of attitude. You’ll be part of the “Oh, I need this, so I’ll do this” lifestyle.

I believe that God created the earth, and He created you and I. Therefore, if I want to know my purpose here on earth, all I have to do is refer to my Creator. Yes, that raises a lot of questions… Did God create the dinosaurs? Why did God create man, knowing that we’re evil? How could there be so many different races with different skin colours if God created only two? Did God create the deformed?

Truthfully, I don’t know all of these. I don’t have all the answers. Do you?? I’ll have to be there, right in the beginning, in order for me to be able to know all of it. I believe God was there – He’s the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end.

Sure, I’m not able to prove to you the existence of a God, like how the scientists could prove the existences of dinosaurs. But seriously, I would rather believe that there’s a God who created everything for a purpose then to believe that the whole world was formed out of a mishap in space. Wouldn’t it seem more sensible to believe that someone actually created all of these? All of you, all of me? I don’t want to live my life solely for survival or momentary glory. That sounds sad…

I believe I’m created for the fulfillment of a dream, a beautiful dream. Yes, I believe that all of us were meant to be participants in the Master’s plan, the Dream-Giver’s dream. Can you get any bigger than that? This is the reason I believe in God. I'm actually here for a reason!!

God is my creator. Who’s yours?

Monday, May 30, 2005

I'll take it

Sunday marked the end of May programmes for our youth ministry. Joseph and Caleb took the lead in guiding our young dreamers to worship the Dream-Giver in spirit and in truth. I believe He has done a great work through these two willing servants. And now the young dreamers are runners with a knowing that “I actually do have an offering to give to Him”. The ‘how’s may still not be crystal clear for everyone, but I strongly believe that the Dream-Giver rewards those who earnestly seek, and that wisdom and grace are provided throughout the journey.

And therefore the programmes have caused a movement, a wave, a momentum… but more importantly, a stirring to live the worship life. Who else could have done this work if not the One who made all things out of nothing?

We had such a great uninterrupted time just worshipping God, rededicating our lives and experiencing His love just a little bit more. I wished that we had recorded the whole thing. In fact, the Dream-Giver has been just awesome among us, especially since the beginning of the year, that I want to record everything down in every way possible. Written, photographed, taped... But then again, maybe such moments should come everyday of our lives. Won't you want that? I think He intended for that. Yes, even here on earth.

Sunday also marked an important encounter my Dream-Giver. As we were allocated time to totally focus on worshipping, I connected with Him. I told Him my desires, my failures to fulfill them, and my need of greater power. He reminded me that He shared His dream with me because He trusts me, and despite my lacking of pace He still remains the same – yesterday, today, everyday.

I felt His eternity, His calling, His faithfulness, His love and grace. I remembered that the sun is still shining. It is still day. I shall work.

Psalm 8:3-4
When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained,
What is man that You are mindful of him,
And the son of man that You visit him?

I’ll take it, my Friend. I’m trying my best to honour that trust. Thank You for sustaining me and keeping me around, even though I’m not Your best student. Need Your strength. I’ll take it, Lord.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Experimental Grounds

Here I am again, sitting in front of my office computer after unnecessarily staying awake till 4.30am… that’s another sad story altogether. I prefer writing about the positive points of the night.

We had sort of an alternative service last night. And the theme was Experimental Grounds :: The Art of the Heart. Basically we could express our worship in any way possible tonight. As long as it glorifies God – isn’t that what our lives are made for anyway? The form of delivery doesn’t matter as much as the heart condition of the worshipper. It never does.

So there we were – being faithful with whatever God-given gifts that we are aware of. Some wrote, some drew, some cooked -- all worshipped. It was one of the most beautiful worship services I’ve seen. Everyone had a chance to explain their heart while others admire the works of God in their lives. Some shared about the changes Jesus brought into their lives, few shared about their current struggles and hope… some made a prayer with a song, some preached through pictures – all worshipped.

So great to see young people stepping out of their comfort zones and make a move of faith. The atmosphere of edification and love created wider space for the worshipper to express himself. It was just beautiful to see people coming alive and starting to run with God-given dreams. Yes, some are still uncertain and doubtful, but they just LOVED Him. Sometimes, that’s all we need.

Should be installing my computer tomorrow. This runner is getting greater efficiency and shall produce greater results for the Dream-Giver

Friday, May 27, 2005

A Platform for Transformation

Has anyone missed my writing? Well, it doesn't really matter. I miss writing. Work has taken a toll of me lately... Took a lot of my time too. That’s why I haven’t been blogging for a while now. Hard to believe when my work is to focus solely on documentation - attending meetings and recording minutes. How hard could that be?

I used to think my job was easy, useless, and unnecessary... Sometimes when I sit around the meeting table, I feel so insignificant. My colleagues' minds move so fast that even though you could hear every word they speak, you can't really understand it... I try to grasp it all, but soon find myself placing a sweet in my mouth to keep me awake.

These 2 weeks have been very hectic for this project officer (that’s my job title). There were like 6 full-day meetings – 9.30am-6.30pm… Last night it lasted till 8pm, and for the first time in my after-teenage-crisis life I feel so stressed. So many minutes to prepare, yet too short a dateline; So much to learn, so little time to understand… I used to be so bored in the office, wishing to attend a meeting and constantly making trips to the bathroom to waste the time away… Now I miss my table dearly.

So anyway, there I was again… Sitting among professionals, writing down whatever I can understand, fading away whenever I got lost… feeling insignificant again when suddenly HOPE came in the room. Why wasn’t I in front of a computer editing some video?__ Why wasn’t I shining God’s light through my gift of writing?__ Why was I stuck in a place I don’t want to be?__ Why was I wasting my time?__ Why was I restrained from running with my God-given dream?

I get it now. Looking back at time, I find that God has been molding me… through it all. I’ve learned to appreciate. With so little time and so much to do, I couldn’t afford to describe, explain and elaborate on the unnecessaries. I could only say what’s important… Quick praises, good thoughts… no time to judge, no time to compromise, no time to procrastinate.

It’s amazing how God can use basically anything as a platform for transforming our lives. It has been just a pit-stop, people. Now I’m running with better focus, more love for others, greater knowledge of God’s love and His purposes.

Have you been in a place that you totally don’t want to be and you feel like you’re wasting your time? Open your eyes, look up to Heaven, and listen to His voice. You might just be standing on His platform of transformation.

**Want to take this chance to thank all those minutes-writers. You’re EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!

This Altar

This is a song I wrote. The content is based on the poem I posted not too long ago... Just changed some words and put melody into it... Will be presenting this song tonight in church - our youth will be having an event called "Experimental Grounds: The Art of Your Heart"... Will inform you readers more about it after the night fades and my brain freezes...

This Altar

Could I ever live
To walk the way that you did
Would my strength carry my feet
In this journey of the meek

Give me more of You
Lord, You must increase
I’ll carry my own cross
For You, I shall live

To walk the way You did
Choose the path You’ll lead
I can’t make it on my own

Send Your fire
Consume my desires
I just want to live for You
Send Your fire
My life’s on this altar
Won’t be send Your fire

Lord, receive this offering
Won’t You please let me free
Let me die on this altar
That in You, I may live

This altar’s for You
This offering’s to You…

Ó2005 Joash Chan

...Now, if only I can add audio to this...

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The matter of the HEART

Throughout the ages, man has been constantly seeking to improve their standard of living, technology that would ease their workload, save time, cost, effort. But get this – technology don’t make us better people!! Let me give you a simple example: Your memory is bad, so you get a Pocket PC to help you get organized. But your memory is so bad that you can’t even remember to take your Pocket PC with you…

In spite of the many good technology has brought into our lives, mankind’s values continues to downgrade. Sure, mankind has come out with brilliant ideas to make the most of our time and money… People spend money on research and creating things that would make us more efficient to make more money, just like how the government makes more cars to get buyers to pay them money in order for them to build roads to accommodate the traffic… Oh, that’s a whole other story to tell… The thing is, in the process of the improving our lifestyle, being more civilized, we get distracted and fail to recognize the things that value the most – eternal things. The human heart deteriorates…

Noticed how convenient it is to communicate nowadays? Emails, video-conferencing, hand phones - talk plan, sms plan, prepaid, postpaid… Brilliant ideas, but out of what motives they’re birthed? Children rather sms their friends while having dinner with the family and totally ignoring the fellowship around the table; Instead of telling or at least writing a short message to let someone know that they’re missed, we just give a misscall or send one of those cute forward messages; We even give digital images of flowers and hearts, never the real thing; We prefer chatting on-line with someone we don’t know, knowing full well that both parties are just trying to impress; We apply for lower rates not so that we get to communicate with more people, but that we communicate with the same people on a more frequent basis.

Not forgetting the entertainment industry… new Chinese dramas, action movie, love story, epic, discos and pubs… We all want to have a great time, don’t we? __ “Mom, don’t tell me how your day was now!! Can’t you see I’m watching tv?” (OUCH!!) __ “No, bro, I’m not free to help you with your homework tonight, I’m going to the movies with friends.” __ “What did you say?! I can’t hear you, the music’s too loud!! Just shut up and dance!!” __ Why do we wait for a black out to start helping out in the house? Why do we drown emotions (ours and others’) with alcohol and loud music? Why is it the only time we shed a tear is when we’re watching a sad story? How is it that we know more about our favourite singer than our next-door neighbour?

What about spending time with the people you know? What’d happened to conversing, talking, and looking eye-to-eye? What about leaning on a friend’s shoulder? We have substituted our tears with smileys, our tone with colour or font cases… Instead of communicating, we have become dumb. We keep the phone numbers of our friends but fail to even call them once; We add people into our Friendster list but we can’t say that we truly know them or that we’re really friends; We ask “How are you?” but can’t be bothered to wait for the reply. What about making time and effort to really get to know another human being, share joy and sorrow, or lend a helping hand?

Trust me, I’m not against technology or brilliant ideas... or movies, or cute messages, emailing(Just like how I’m not against pink colour). My God-given dream does require me to use technology+brilliant ideas. But I think that we value our time and money and pride more than we value life, people, and the little wonders of life… We found another way to hide ourselves from each other, another easy way out, another opportunity to be self-centered and pretend to care, another mask to disguise our true selves… We become more fake, less sincere; more judgmental, less understanding. We deteriorate, and become dead inside.

Running with my God-given dream, I cannot afford to be without sincere relationships. I can't substitute that face-to-face, brother-to-brother, heart-to-heart connection... I have to connect with my heart. Yes, I do use technology. But technology has no match with what a sincere heart can achieve. I'm still learning, still implementing, still trying, still failing... But more importantly, I'm still running... WOW!!

What are your dreams? Do you have one with an impact that will last forever?

Make time to build things that last – relationships, friends, your heart.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

And still I go

Have you ever gone through an entire day giving your all and doing your best, then to realize at the end of it all that your all and your best still wasn’t good enough?

I just had one of those days during the weekend… disappointed with myself, yet filled with hope. I haven’t reached my full potential, which means that my best is yet to come. Yes, there are greater things installed for me. Greater challenges, greater victories, greater joy!! But I can’t do it on my own; I must depend on a greater strength. And thank God I have the best resource anyone can get hold of.

I think I pity those who believe that they’re all right – nothing more to improve, no room left for advancement, nothing to look forward to… They are constantly frustrated by others’ inability to meet their expectations. And because there’s nothing left that they can do better at, they’ll have to wait for others to be better, work on their effectiveness and efficiency… oh, what a wait that’s going to be!! How lonely must that be…

Want to also thank God for providing me the things I need to continue running with the dream He gave to me. He’s just so awesome, so faithful!! I said a prayer, asking God to get someone to give me a computer before the end of last week. I would be buying one on my own if my prayer weren’t answered. But hey, my prayer has been answered!!

I guess the weekend wasn’t bad after all. I’ve learned that I have

  • Grown, but still have areas in my life I need to work on.
  • Friends that are honest enough to tell me my flaws; yet still loving enough to help me through with their encouragement and support.
  • Greater heights to reach!!
  • A gift that will help me run better
  • People who actually read my blog (Hard to believe)
  • Inspired others to run with their God-given dreams (Incomprehensible)
  • A fresh hope and a renewed vision.
  • JOY

My God is big, strong and mighty. He is good. There’s none that can compare to Him. And I’m running with the dream He gave me – a God-given dream.

Saturday, April 30, 2005

You Choose

People are so easily distracted these days, so unaware about God, what He wants and all that. Trends, colour, moods, emotions, peers drive them... there’s entertainment all around us, all the time!! We forget about everything, not a worry in the world… until silence comes upon us. After all the hype, excitement, fun, busyness… When there’s nothing left to be done, what is there to live for?

Many go through life without knowing their true purpose on earth and God, our Creator – the only guy that truly knows why we exist on this earth. Some don’t even believe that there’s a God. Some believe in fate, the “whatever-will-be-will-be” mindset. __“I’ll just go ahead with whatever I want to do, and let fate decide what comes out of my life”__ Many tend to think that way, but I don't. I mean, doesn’t sound like merely surviving what “fate” has destined? __“Oh, it’s all decided, I’m just fitting in” __ doesn’t it seem like we’re just puppets?

Or is it man’s reason to avoid responsibility and accountability for his own actions? __ “Don’t blame me for doing this to you. It’s fate that has forced me to come to this point”__ Man has been doing things without knowing God's will. But when they fall, stumble, and get hurt, they blame the “Power on high”… Is that true? Is everything happening around us God's will? CERTAINLY NOT!!

I believe in a God that has created everyone on this earth. Every individual is unique and special in His eyes. He has a plan and purpose for His creations, but He gives us something called "freewill"!! WHY? Because He loves us!! He doesn’t force us to do things His way, but gives us time and space to decide and choose. Now that’s GRACE!! AMAZING GRACE (I’ll talk about it more some other time)

With freedom comes responsibility and accountability. You can choose to know God and what He wants of you (God’s will), but ultimately YOU have the right to choose between obedience and rebellion, His way or your way (freewill). You make the choice; you bear the consequences, good and bad. In the end, every man has to be accountable for his own actions.

p.s As you read this blog, I pray that you’ll search your own heart. Try not to think about the things that you can’t control – others’ actions. If everyone blames every other everyone, no one will change. Let the change start with you and me.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

I love this game!!

I love football for the beauty of teamwork. It’s most delightful thing to see the players creating a flow with the passing of the ball. The end result of a flow may not always turn out to be a goal, but it surely brings much excitement and anticipation, even building the momentum in favour of the team.

(Now, I know I’m putting my writing career in risk by talking about football… but please, there’s a value to this…)

A successful team has teamwork. And that’s not easy to have, considering the fact that a team consists of many individuals. Team members come from different training backgrounds, speak different languages, have different time perspectives, strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has a different say as to how things are done. And that’s where rules, coaches and manager come in. The rules are there to make sure players are living a healthy lifestyle, and the coaches are there to build the foundation for skill, technique, and stamina… The manager’s job is to create strategies that will fully utilize the squad’s ability. The players’ role are to abide in the rules, work to improve, follow the game plan and give their all.

Everyone in the team play a different role. But one thing everyone has in common is the desire to be the best in what they do - winning. And for that to happen, they must work together. Because in football, everything that needs to be done has to be done together. No time to look down on each other, no one can stand-alone. You can’t leave the defending to just the defenders and goalkeeper, nor can the strikers attack without the support of the rest of the team. You can’t win without defending, not can you win without scoring goals…

Being in a team is about supporting each other to reach one goal. There’s no room or time to look down upon each other, be prideful and wanting things done your way. It’s about covering for a teammate’s weakness and assist the improvement process. It’s about understanding and learning from each other’s strengths. It’s about continuously improving one’s self in order to be contribution to the team. It’s about learning to work together as a team.

Now, a football team sure does have a lot of similarity with the Kingdom of God, doesn’t it?

I see God’s calling upon my life as a football player chosen to be in a football match. 90 minutes on the clock. Have I done enough to be prepared for the game? Have I trained well, developed my skill and stamina? Do I understand my teammates? Do they understand me? Do I know the instructions given to me? It’s no time to be selfish now, no time to be a show-off. I refuse to be self-sufficient. That isn’t the way it’s meant to be!! It’s too tiring to carry a burden that’s meant to be shared. I need to trust my teammates; I need to pass the ball.

I need to pass the ball…