Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Not one of those sometimes...

Last night I received an sms from a friend I've known forever. He hasn't been coming to church, as he's running the father's business everyday. Not forgetting that he has to juggle time for college and assignments as well. A while he came to me with some questions, and since then God has placed him in my heart. But it just seems impossible to meet up with him.

So once again I received an sms from him. My heart rejoiced to see his name. But this time he wants to make a decision. He had to make a decision, the right one. In the midst of all those sms going in and out of my handphone, I could feel the struggle within him. He really wants to do the right thing, but he can't overcome his desires. He needed someone to be right beside him. I was there, but not physically there.

I gave him all the words I know. But in my heart, I really wonder if he had done the right thing at the end of the night. I wonder what I could have done with a driving license and a car. Sure, sometimes just a short message could free someone from their pain and struggle. But last night was not one of those sometimes...

Jesus, you know what needs to be done. It's You who have placed this in my heart. Make it happen, Lord. Equip me to carrying out Your mission, to fulfill Your passion. Let all the prodigals run home. Amen.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

My Dream

It's my birthday today - 21 years old. My supervisor couldn't believe it and suggested that I get a plastic surgery. He said I look older than my age, and I don't blame him. When I was 18, a church member thought I was 24. But it doesn't really matter, I know who I am.

My brother, who is now in Australia studying song-writing and theology, asked the right question. He asked me 'how does it feel being a 21-year old?'... It feels like it's way past to make an impact here on earth. It feels like I'm living on borrowed time, solely on grace alone... There's a mission that has to be accomplished, there's a dream that must be fulfilled, there's a hope that must be passed on, there's a script to be completed, there's a story that needs an ending, there's more love to give...

But as I say to my youth group, the Dream-Giver isn't interested in what we do or accomplish - that's how the world measures your worth. Yes, the world judges facts. They look at your certificates, at your trophies, at your bank account, your accomplishments and failures... What He really wants is YOU. And so He looks into your heart. The Dream-giver, in my opinion, dreams not to have things done, but that His creation fulfills their purpose, their function.

So really, this is my dream - to fulfill the Dream-giver's dream - to be all He has destined me to be from the very beginning. And so as I continue to write a script about knowing the Father's love, I allow Him to be the mastermind of it all.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Lah, the Malaysian Language

After months of consideration, I have finally decided to publish a new blog with the title above. The difference between this blog you're reading now and my new one is rather obvious, in my opinion lah. Reading my posts here would be like listening to my sharing in a youth service or prayer meeting (of course the real ones have more illustration with body language and jokes), while reading Lah would be like talking to me in person. Of course, I don't always talk that way, only when I'm given a chance to (which is rare). I'll be sharing more on the real life happenings in my life - the things I see, how I perceive the situaition, and what I think should be done. I think of it as beginning a conversation, so I invite you to join me and share your thoughts as well. I'll surely still be writing here, so there's no need to conduct a funeral or enter a mourning period... See you there... and here too.

Where are you?

Have you ever directed a friend to your house through the phone? Some conversations work out well, with the friend arriving with minimal amount of time and money wasted. Some conversation goes on and on for like half an hour, with the end result being we meeting them at the place where they are, and guiding them back to our house. Ever since my childhood days, I would follow my dad for visitations, and often times we are the ones asking for directions and troubling others to pick us up... It was only last night that I had the experience of directing someone to my house, and I have finally figured out the problem.

You see, the conversation through the phone last night didn't work out as well as I hoped for. As I was working towards where they were, I felt partly responsible. My best friend would testify that I give lousy directions. So along the way I kept thinking about what I could have done better to avoid leaving my food on the table and my soccer match on tv... I was basically kicking myself until I saw the car - I gave him correct directions, but he gave me a wrong indication of where he is. He said KFC was on his left hand side, but turns out that KFC was really behind him. He couldn't give me a clear indication of where he was, so even though I gave right directions, I couldn't guide him to his destination.

There are two sides to this. If you want to reach your destinastion, you first have to know where you are. If you don't know where you are, correct directions won't help you, simply because you are lost in the first place. In our walk towards Christ-likeness, we often go round and round in circles because we don't know where we are in our spiritual walk with God. Pride makes us think we are alright. Sometimes pretending is so easy that we fool ourselves. Our leaders and friends try to help us grow, but we mislead them and they in turn mislead us. We must be honest with ourselves. We need to allow the Holy Spirit to search our hearts and open our eyes. This has to be a crucial practice for all who earnestly desire to grow, be the person God has destined us to be, and live the life that Jesus promised to us.

Secondly, if you want to lead and guide someone, you'll have to know where they are exactly. Asking the correct questions would be helpful. But sometimes we just have to meet that person where they are in order to guide. It's hardwork and inconvenient, that's for sure. I suppose to do this, you have to either really like that person, or be compelled by the love of God. Patience really goes a long way.

Just sharing random thoughts. Hope I can find a better to present this... That's for another day.