Thursday, June 30, 2005

:: FCC church camp 2004 ::

Up for sale this Sunday!!

My Photo

:: FCC church camp 2004 :: Power of Love - 4 days and 3 nights of God's touch. We weren't expecting anything great when we decided to document it, but now we're glad we did. It was a mountain top experience to remember. I believe that we should experience God's power everyday and every moment, so this vcd serves only as a reminder of the lessons we have learned, the call we have responded to, and the love we have received as a church. I believe that this should be shared with our non-Christian friends too. Let them have a glimpse of the real thing.

This project is a means to an end - the dream. Worked on this with Joseph for over 3 months. We had 8 hours of material to go through, and that's not easy. Trimmed it down to 70 minutes, and it's all good stuff in there. I have enjoyed it everytime I watched it, but maybe it's because I participated in its creation...

Monday, June 27, 2005

The Journey of a Dream

Last week, the Dream-Giver took me on a ride that has changed my life - A ride I never thought I would take... And because of this dream, my life has changed. It's just the beginning now, I wonder how drastic the change this dream will bring in a few years time...

I share this dream together with the 3 partners-of-my-everything. We had to stumble through a few rough paths and some doubts, but we focused on a Godly purpose, a God-given dream… We held on to that dream, because we knew it came from the Unfailing source. Nothing’s gonna stop us now…

And so after giving (in my opinion) little but sufficient information to several people and a youth leaders’ meeting, we headed to KL Sentral… why do they name it Sentral instead of Central anyway? Come on, we don’t have to nationalize every word… I mean, do you have to show that it’s a Malaysian building considering the fact that it’s already IN MALAYSIA? Hope they have a greater purpose than what I assume it to be…

So anyway… Along for the ride I brought some snacks, 2 two-way train tickets, a bag of luggage, my best friend, and the prayers of Kingdom-partners. We rushed down to the platform with our burger and fries and walked along this long, long train. Took us a while to find Coach K1, long enough to regret waiting in line for our McD. But we made it eventually. Turns out that the burger and fries did much good, even without chilly sauce.

We tried, but we probably had only 3 hours of sleep. And the fact that there are no announcements whatsoever didn't make our ride a peaceful one. We had to always be on alert for our stop. Mind you, the sign boards are small (there's only one sign board at every stop) and we're travelling at night. There was this once where the train stopped at Kulai. When it started to move again, May saw the signboard again. And there it was, under the words "Kulai" was in small print - Kempas Baru. I hurried to the door, opened it to check how fast the train was (yes, I was contemplating of jumping down). I headed back to our seat and my secretary reminded me to ask an officer for accurate information. To our relief, he told us that the small print indicated the next stop, which was 10 minutes away... AHHHhhh...

Along the journey, we talked, we prayed, we assured each other by reminding ourselves of the purpose of this journey.Upon on our arrival, my best friend and I were greeted by the millions and millions of.... Nah, no millions. In fact, none of our contacts knew where Kempas Baru was, so we had to pick ourselves up. We were greeted, though, by friendly staffs who taught us how to catch a ride to Skudai. We thanked them, used their toilet, and recovered from the scare. Before we walked down the stairs to the place where the bus will stop, we admired our Dream-Giver's creation and thanked Him for the beautiful scenes, the safe journey, and a clear purpose.

After a satisfying small breakfast, another visit to the toilet, and yet another disappointment towards public transportation, we left that never-heard-before place to fulfill a God-given dream. You see, there were some confusion and different ideas as to why my best friend and I made the trip. No one knew - not even I did - what this dream is all about. Only the Dream-Giver knows, and we were just willing vessels who heard that voice and answered the call. Really, isn't that all that matters?

"No eyes have seen, no ears have heard, of the good that the Lord has prepared for those who wait on Him and hear His voice."
"...for He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than what we could ever dream or imagine..."

In our hearts we kept these words... and so we ran. Not knowing what was and is ahead, we held on to that dream. And this dream may cause much discomfort to many people. There may be fighting, judging, hurtful words, misunderstandings, conflict and strife... I know He didn't promise us a bed of roses when we choose to follow His will and run with His dreams. But I know He said that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. So we are running on the track He asked us to choose, holding on to truth, and believing that through us the Dream-Giver will pour out His life. This is our hope, this is our dream, this is our God-given dream. And I believe that there's nothing in this life could be more fulfilling than running with a God-given dream...

And after RM123 worth of train tickets, 10 meals, 4 visits to a public toilet and 3 trips to the train's toilet (we had a interesting discussion as to how it works), one bath… my best friend and I return to our second home with many beautiful memories and a burden for two little children. Funny how the need has been there for so long now… So many times we fail to see what really matters. God help us, because it’s time to work hard – for meeting needs, sharing dream, inspiring others… and a thinner waistline… ni!!

p.s :

Joe, I really wonder how you come up with the idea that May and I are getting engaged soon. Soon lah, but not that soon...

Jason, thank you for understanding my heart.

May, thanks for coming along for the journey. You know I couldn't do it without you. We share this dream together.

Dream-Giver, You make all things beautiful. Thanks for the opportunity. I know I'm not worthy.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Morning Traffic

Experienced the worst of public transport today… or shall I say, the human heart? Mom and dad sent me to the train station in the morning. They were planning to walk the market several rounds – window-shopping + exercise.

I met a footballer friend yesterday at the station, same time. As I bought the ticket, I wondered if I’ll meet anyone I know… Looked around to check for familiar faces, but all I found was the I-hate-Mondays look even though it’s already Tuesday... I’m used to being alone during most of my travels (to college, office, church). Apart from the waiting (don’t get me started), I enjoy my time on the bus/train. That’s of course when I’m not busy complaining… It will be a time of reflection, self-analysis, recalling something funny, exploring possibilities, and idea generation. I usually achieve these things alone and undistracted.

So there I was… Passed through the gate and on the platform I waited. Checked the timer – oh, 7 more minutes before the next train comes. As my eyes motioned back to the distance, where the train would come, I met another footballer. But even more than that, as I found from our conversation later on, I met another dream-runner.

Funny how we’ve never connected… I guess I never took the time to bother. But this morning we found so many common grounds. We both ride the same ride, for a start. I just found out he was a footballer on Sunday when we played together in a Father’s Day soccer match. Turns out he’s studying the course I’m interested in – Mass Communication. He then shared about his main goal in pursuing this course – it’s a God-given dream, I tell you!!

We continued our conversation as we entered into the crowded train. We got deeper, and I too shared my God-given dream. Wow, I’m seriously not alone!! “This is no coincidence…” I think to myself. We are both riding the same ride indeed!! It’s a divine appointment, and only the Dream-Giver could have pulled it off so flawlessly…

As I walked towards the office, I was again reminded that I had not played football in a while and how much I dislike our public transport system… even though my legs were a bit worn out, I felt my spirit lifted onto a higher ground. The feeling did not transpose into the physical realm, but I could swear that I felt a gush of wind sweep pass me. My heart secretly wished that the track that Prakash and I run on will be as cramped up as that train was… and I believe that as the Dream-Giver continues to give us the grace we need to run with these dreams, this wish of mine will be fulfilled…

And you won’t see morning traffic the same again…

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Death and Life

My friend’s grandaunt passed away. My dad messaged me in the late afternoon, asking me to go and help play the guitar. Musician or not, I had to go… Left work on time, took the train to KL Sentral, waited at Platform 6 for the train that would take me to Mid Valley, the place where I’ll meet my mom. Almost 2 hours later I see her and we managed to get to the funeral on time.

Despite my young age, I’ve attended many funerals… And last night, I attended the most respectful funeral ever. Everyone was sober, quiet, and respectful. It was really a funeral.

As everyone settled down and found their seat, I stood beside my father – the service coordinator. And just beside both of us was the open coffin. Now, I never really liked to see someone’s dead body. I think it’s an anointing… but the atmosphere in that small hall was so serene, and the peace rubbed into me. Boldly I stood side by side the man I consider a gift and a partner in the Kingdom-building work, and I gave my best.

Then the Dream-Giver slipped something into my senses… He always does that sort of thing. He’s just so creative and understanding – He knows the right way to communicate to each individual. That’s why I have faith in this Dream-Giver… anyway…

I’m not sure what it was, but as I strummed that 6-stringed object, I thought I smelled the stench of death. Then dad spoke:

“Do you know who the most alive person in this room?”

“To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord”

“In the presence of the Lord, there is fullness of joy”

Dear Dream-Giver,
Thank you for reminding me that dying to my self and denying the desires of the flesh is a joy. I know that sin separates us. I know that sin leads to death, but your ways are everlasting. Help me overcome sin, that Your original-me may come alive again. Help me die to myself a little bit more everyday. It’s not easy or comfortable, and I may be unattractive to the masses. But I believe that it’s only temporary, and that joy comes in the morning. As I decrease, I know that You’ll increase. Let Your dreams and Your life live in me. Thank you once again…

(New International Version)

Luke 9:23-25
23Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. 25What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?

2 Corinthians 5:14-15
14For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

(The Message)

Luke 9:23-25
23Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat--I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. 24Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. 25What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?

2 Corinthians 5:14-15
14Christ's love has moved me to such extremes. His love has the first and last word in everything we do. Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. 15He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

A Means to An End

Took a personality test together with the youth last Sunday, had several youth leaders beside me to get their opinions and help out with some words that I don’t have in my vocabulary. One thing they see in me is that I’m a task-oriented, realistic person. No doubt about that… sometimes I do fail to be sensitive to the people I work with. I’m still working on that…

I’m quite a creative guy, I think. Few acknowledge that, and that’s fine with me. And so I want to use this gift of mine to spread the good news of grace and hope. It started off with publishing our youth’s very own TOUCH bulletin. That was a long time ago, but I hear people still get glued to them. Then it was producing plays and dramas for our Christmas events. Long, gruesome process… but tremendous fruits. It’s such a joy when people are blessed by my work, our work - God’s work. Along the way, Joseph has helped me much. I think he’s a gift too. We have shared so much together – late nights working on bulletins and scripts, his computer, skills and visions.

I really thank God that these God-given dreams of mine require me to work together with others, to gather resources, to draw inspiration, strength, and encouragement from them. Sure, the process isn’t always pleasant. People forget, grow complacent and lazy, constantly complain, unappreciative… But I prefer group effort than loneliness. Somehow there’s greater pleasure in seeing individuals working towards one goal and actually achieving it, because only the Dream-Giver is capable of doing such a thing. Furthermore, I believe He is not so much task-oriented as He is people-oriented. After all, His task is about people. I get it…

Looking back, I come to realize that God has been giving me dreams through people around me – people who see God’s work in my life. They have guided me in so many ways, and I don’t know where I would have done with myself had they not cast their vision upon me, believed in me, encouraged me, pushed me… So many thanks and appreciation to Carolina, Joseph, Barbara, and my dad…

And in my journey towards fulfilling God-given dreams, I acknowledge that all my efforts are not an end, but means to achieve a dream - a greater dream. No, the Dream-Giver has more in stored for all those who avail themselves for the run. And by the end of this run and the beginning of the next, I’ll see myself arriving at yet another personal milestone. I’ll see many familiar faces too. People who have taken this God-given dream and made it their own – they are the ones who will be alongside me, at that milestone, that end to a mean of THE END. No one will stand out, but everyone on their knees, seeking the Audience of ONE – the Dream-Giver.

Yes, it’s fun running with a God-given dream, especially when you’re not alone.

Monday, June 06, 2005

He endures my nonsense

Only God could have the power to endure my nonsense. He knows me inside out, but He still trust in me. I can’t comprehend, but I’m grateful. I suppose He remembers why He created me in the first place and what His son died on the cross for. Not so that His purposes on earth may be fulfilled. No, no, no. He doesn’t need me. He has legions of angels under His command; He doesn’t need a fallen man like me.

So why does He choose me to trust with His dreams? The only explanation I can come up with is that what He wants is for me to get what I need. There’s nothing in it for Him, seriously. He could have sent Jesus down again, and it’ll all be finished. His will is done with effective and efficiency. Totally unlike now… passing on a dream to me would mean that He has to wait for very very very very very very long. He’ll have to wait for me to grow up, go through the rebellious stage, finally understand about His calling upon my life… not to mention of the many times I’ll rise and fall, run and stumble… boy, He’ll have to be very patient and enduring.

I conclude that running with a God-given dream does most good for myself. Sure, it’ll change some lives, help a few people, give some hope and vision. But the greatest gain is that I fulfill my destiny and know God, and thus, live a fulfilled life. Yes, that’s what He wants to give you and me – the abundant life.

I thank God for enduring me... for my sake.

Friday, June 03, 2005


I believe the biggest question everyone has/will have is this – “What on earth am I here for?”. Now, if you believe that the world was formed after a big bang, then your existence is just an accident, a mistake. Everything around you is make belief, meant solely for survival and pleasure. You’ll be living with “Since I’m here, I might as well” kind of attitude. You’ll be part of the “Oh, I need this, so I’ll do this” lifestyle.

I believe that God created the earth, and He created you and I. Therefore, if I want to know my purpose here on earth, all I have to do is refer to my Creator. Yes, that raises a lot of questions… Did God create the dinosaurs? Why did God create man, knowing that we’re evil? How could there be so many different races with different skin colours if God created only two? Did God create the deformed?

Truthfully, I don’t know all of these. I don’t have all the answers. Do you?? I’ll have to be there, right in the beginning, in order for me to be able to know all of it. I believe God was there – He’s the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end.

Sure, I’m not able to prove to you the existence of a God, like how the scientists could prove the existences of dinosaurs. But seriously, I would rather believe that there’s a God who created everything for a purpose then to believe that the whole world was formed out of a mishap in space. Wouldn’t it seem more sensible to believe that someone actually created all of these? All of you, all of me? I don’t want to live my life solely for survival or momentary glory. That sounds sad…

I believe I’m created for the fulfillment of a dream, a beautiful dream. Yes, I believe that all of us were meant to be participants in the Master’s plan, the Dream-Giver’s dream. Can you get any bigger than that? This is the reason I believe in God. I'm actually here for a reason!!

God is my creator. Who’s yours?