Thursday, September 15, 2005

There's this feeling

The Sunday before last's Jacklyn and I led worship for our church service. After the service there was a worship team meeting, and we received many good feedback. It was funny, though... As they were talking I was reflecting upon what we did on stage that morning. Was it that good? Did it require that much skill? Were we that good? Because I wasn't leading worship that morning, I was being led...

A prophet once told me that God is wiling to shine His glory upon me because He knows that I won't take credit for it, and that I'll reflect all the praises back to Him... Looking back, I feel that God was dealing with me the same way He dealt with Gideon. You know, the way God called a coward a mighty man of valor... I don't know how far I have run with this God-given dream of mine, I could be a million miles away from fulfilling His calling upon my life. But His favour, His trust towards me, His love, His presence, His grace - all so ever close...

Looking forward, I'll be worship leading again on the first Sunday of October. And there's this feeling... A fear. Not a fear of others expectation, though. It's the feeling of confusion, of what-shall-I-do-next... It's as though as I have reached the end of myself... I can't do it anymore. I can't lead the people - not to where they were on that Sunday morning. And I think of it as a blessing...

Matthew 5:3 "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule." (The Message)

2 comments:

So I Go said...

don't let the fear overwhelm you.. you are right, this is a blessing and affirmation that you're up to something right and good and true.. stay the course, but be ever wary of the sinister one who would rather see you bow out and cower in a corner.

keep on dreaming and doing your thing. have a great weekend.. jeff

curious servant said...

I see a worship team as providing a place for me to put my offerings. The music and the voices are giving me an altar where I can offer up my ow worship.

The best worship services are when He does all the leading.