There's this feeling

The Sunday before last's Jacklyn and I led worship for our church service. After the service there was a worship team meeting, and we received many good feedback. It was funny, though... As they were talking I was reflecting upon what we did on stage that morning. Was it that good? Did it require that much skill? Were we that good? Because I wasn't leading worship that morning, I was being led...

A prophet once told me that God is wiling to shine His glory upon me because He knows that I won't take credit for it, and that I'll reflect all the praises back to Him... Looking back, I feel that God was dealing with me the same way He dealt with Gideon. You know, the way God called a coward a mighty man of valor... I don't know how far I have run with this God-given dream of mine, I could be a million miles away from fulfilling His calling upon my life. But His favour, His trust towards me, His love, His presence, His grace - all so ever close...

Looking forward, I'll be worship leading again on the first Sunday of October. And there's this feeling... A fear. Not a fear of others expectation, though. It's the feeling of confusion, of what-shall-I-do-next... It's as though as I have reached the end of myself... I can't do it anymore. I can't lead the people - not to where they were on that Sunday morning. And I think of it as a blessing...

Matthew 5:3 "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule." (The Message)