Saturday, December 30, 2006

Voice Dubbing Gone Wrong

As the original had too much noice (captured at a parking lot), we tried to do some voice dubbing. Initially there was a suggestion that we should dub everything, but after this attempt, I think we'll just work on capturing voices at the shooting itself. In the end, we went with the original video, which wasn't that bad after all...

Yesterday night was the special screening of the movie Where There's Will, There's Wei, and we received a lot of feedback, both positive & negative ones. And since now the movie is over, I'll focus more on making the bloopers & blogging about my first movie... Cheers, everyone. Happy New Year, enjoy the movie.

You can also view the video here.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Why Christmas Isn't That Merry

Christmas isn't that fun for me, really. It's a holiday for most people, but for the past few years Christmas has meant more work for me. Church events, performances, scripts, plays, carolling, visitations... It used to be easier when I was still studying. But now things are different. I've changed too. I find it odd that we Christians work so hard during the Christmas season... we start calling friends that we've never spoken to for ages. It's like all of a sudden we're so concerned for them. It's really good, but it's only once a year. Supposedly this is the best time of the year for people to experience the love of our God, but instead what we give is just Christmas songs & presents, warmer handshakes & sweeter smiles...

Love must be continually expressed.

Apart from the movie I'm working on, I'm basically off the hook this year. And I wasn't suppose to be involved in the script in the first place. It's an interesting experience, really. To just sit back & relax... there were like 3 or 4 plays done by our church this time around, seems like everyone's getting the bug. Haha... and they were really good, & all without me getting invovled. Next year I don't want to be involved with any Christmas duties... just want to enjoy the season & visit friends...

My best friend met an accident on Christmas Eve & passed away on Christmas morning. I was only 16 years old, and she was a year older than I was. It was devastating. Christmas has never been the same again. She's the main reason I've not taken up driving. I fear the responsibility. Seriously. It's been 6 years now, and I know it's time to put this fear behind.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

2 Saturdays Ago (Day 1, Part 2)

So after we were done doing scene 3, we proceed with the photo shoot for our poster. I don't know how it is normally done lah. I mean, when do they do the poster shoots? For us, it was just easier to take the shoots there & then, because we don't want to travel to the same place again. And of course there's the limitation of time.

I recruited my life-long friend,
Josephine Kang, to be our photographer. She'll be documenting our movie-making journey with her camera. All the pictures featured here are taken by her. She's not a professional, but I think she is doing a great job for us.

We actually had a practice round before this photo session, so we were sure of the poses & pictures we want to capture. So the process was pretty fast. Below are the raw pictures. Later they would be passed to Jason to work his magic & design the poster. Comments, anyone??

After the photo session, we proceeded to Jalan Ipoh for the second part of our movie shooting. My dad bought this house & has several plans for it, that I won't go into here. He put in a lot of effort to the house & it's really beautiful. So far everyone that has stepped into the house said so.
The pictures above weretaken in one of the rooms, which we used as Wei Ken's (played by Jason) room (posters weren't originally there). It took me a while to like the green colour wall that my dad painted. But it was really nice on camera. I wished we had more locations that had such bright colours. This is our best location yet.

Hmm. I think I'll have to post about the personnels involved in the entire movie-making process.

Day 1 Part 1.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Monday, December 18, 2006

2 Saturdays Ago (Day 1, Part 1)

It's surreal when I think about it, but we have already begun shooting scenes for our movie. It just happened. We initially played around with the idea of incorporating video into our Christmas play, but now we are in the midst of making a short movie.

It's funny... A year ago we were really talking about making a movie. We divided ourselves to fund-raising task force, script-writing team, project planning committee... We even had a few to write the soundtracks... but nothing happened. And now, all of a sudden, we find ourselves trying to make a story come to life.
Location: Undisclosed.

Of course, when things come in a rush, it gets messy. One thing I forgot to do is delegate all the tasks that I'm lousy at, such as administrative work (time management, resource management, clothings & props)... Resulting in me having to play different roles at a time & causing everyone a bumpy ride. Sorry. Must thank Jason & May for helping out a lot. Nothing would be achieved without the people around me. So THANK YOU.

Many people say that it's a typical storyline on Friendship. But to be honest this is a breakthrough for us, as we have always been basing our plays on the "Prodigal Son" theme, where there's always one bad dude and one good dude. This time both characters are dynamic ones. They are either good or bad. They are just people with different personalities and traits, people who are bound to fail & make mistakes, to be hurt & disappointed. I think people can relate to that.

Monday, December 11, 2006


Dear all,
As I type these words, my heart is heavy, my hands are weak. Because I know that by the time you read this, I'll be on my way to a far far away place. The journey won't be pleasing, as I'll be travelling with a bunch of radical, extreme, and loud people. Not forgetting to mention that they are very energetic. And I desperately need my sleep today, knowing that it's going to be a long day ahead for me. Well, at least I'm not alone. And I know your thoughts are with me as I leave my comfort zone & follow my dreams.
You won't be seeing for a while - 4 days to be exact. Perhaps being apart for this period of time will do much good to our friendship. I also want you to know that it's not easy for me to write this to you, because this keyboard is disfunctional & I need to answer nature's call like 5 minutes ago. I wish I could leave you with something - a gist of what Joash is up to - but YouTube only allows its users to upload a maximum of 10MB file... Hai... When I come back lah...
I'll be in Melaka. See you on Friday.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

"Thanks for not giving up on me"

I remember the times where I gave up. When I was 15 I gave up on public school teachers & went on to study on my own for SPM. When this job of mine got too taxing for me, I gave up my tuition classes. I treated them as ministry, but I couldn't take the stress anymore. The student's mom actually came & spoke to me about how her son has improved as a person since coming for my classes. I promise i would call up my student, but I got distrated & I gave up. I have no idea how he is doing now. I can recall the time when I gave up on patching things up with an individual in church. A while ago I gave up hope on several more, citing "leave them to God's hands" as an excuse. And oh the amount of times I gave up on HOPE ITSELF.

I'm quite sure that there's a difference between giving up on a person or a situation & leaving it to God, and giving up doing things your own way & start working alongside God. But I'm not sure which I have done more.

David fought the lion & the bear to save one sheep. Easily he could value his life greater than the sheep's & just leave it to God. He upheld his part of the deal by pursuing the enemy, and God gave him the strength to defeat the enemy. They worked together to protect the sheep.

God, forgive me for the many times I have given up on the sheeps that you have entrusted to me. I have let You down. I don't want to do that anymore. At the end of my race, I want to hear those words "thanks for not giving up on me". I want to uphold my part of the deal, I want to keep my word. And I trust You will extend Your helpful hands to assist me & guide me through every trial & every difficulty. I love You, God, and I will feed Your sheep with You. Thanks. For not giving up on me.

Friday, November 24, 2006


"How many desperate people does it take for revival to come?"
I don't know how many people it'll take for God to bring revival. I'm not quite sure if God looks at the numbers either. Revival doesn't come because we meet the quota or we fulfill the hours needed or the buckets of tears. It's solely by God's grace, I believe.
But looking at the scriptures, few things are certain. God rewards those who earnestly seek Him. God is searching for worshippers who will worship Him in spirit and in truth. God wants to rebuild the tabernacle of David. Blessed are those who hunger and thrist, for they shall be filled. To those who are faithful, great responsibilities & gifts shall be given.
How many people does it take? I believe it starts with 1. But it doesn't stop there. Like how I felt the need to seek God & listen to His voice. Then I shared that conviction with a few. And they caught that vision. At YPS we caught that vision of discipleship, 1 shepherd a few. We shared that with the church board, and they are so willing to help out now.
Conversation + fellowship is so important. Wednesday night God was again reminding me of the importance of our (young people) fellowship with the adults... that we really need to initiate conversation & deliberate discussions in order to build that trust between us. Zeal and passion needs to be led with wisdom. We need to converse in order to keep each other in balance. The body needs to be ONE.
Unity is so crucial to the move of the Spirit. That's why Jesus prayed that we would be one. This is something we have to work on. It takes time. It's sad, but it's true. Imagine how patient God has been with us. And we're not even there, yet. He's still waiting. So likewise we need to persevere in pursuing unity.
Personally, I'm still trying to figure out the balance of desperation & patience. Perhaps it's suppose to be desperation + perseverance. That hunger will spread. But we need to persevere, & press on.

"And the streams will flow as a river..."

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

My 22nd Birthday

Yea, I know it's a bit too late to blog about something that happened on 20 Oct, but I just had to do this. It's my small way of saying thank you to all those who made my birthday a memorable one.

Those who made it happen - mom, dad, and May.
Somehow there wasn't a picture of the 4 of us together.

Joseph presented me the gift, but in this picture it was more like his birthday. Haha...

When you have a dream, some friends will dream along with you. Some friends will encourage you & push you forward. And then there are those who ask you to be reasonable & sensible, to keep a balance between chasing a dream & facing the realities of life - which is understandable.
My bunch of friends (BIG FAMILY) have so much faith in my dream, and more importantly, in me, that they actually invest their money. Most of them are students, mind you. Took me 3 days to write 28 thank cards. I could have just send them an email or print something out, but writing to each one of them personally is the least I can do.

So this is it. My new camera, costs nearly RM3000. 3.1 Megapixel, 3 CCD (don't ask me what it means. I just know that it's very cool & extremely good). May managed to bargain and got several free stuff too, like a very cool umbrella (finally an umbrella I can call my own!!) and a tripod (sweet!!).
Thank you everyone!! It's a truly awesome gift. To TOUCH, thank you for loving me. Maybe I shouldn't be the youth leader next year, cause the next thing I want is....Haha. Thank you all. Thank you for believing in me. I won't let you down, and I'll make you very proud. It's an investment you won't regret, and someday you'll be proud to say that you helped kicked off Joash Chan's dream.

Thank you, Chi Wing, for this very cool pen. Johannah Ang, thank you so much for your card. You're a sweet girl. I hope you always remain a joyful person. And of course, Lemuel & Melanie, thank you for the wine. We shall open it when both of you visit my house.
I am bold and courageous, cause the Lord my God is with me!!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. (New International Version)

Previously I struggled with this verse, a lot. To gain what I want, I'll have to desire what He wants? It felt unfair. I had the idea that ultimately He wins, because I didn't get what I asked for. But I got what He wanted for me. That just didn't seem right. What about me?

It was only recently that I looked back at this verse & finally understood what it means. Mom & dad helped me out with that too. A friend was telling me about how she decided she couldn't believe in God anymore. He didn't answer her prayer. The first thing that came to my mind was "hey, He's God. He can do whatever he wants. If God moves according to whatever we wanted, He wouldn't be God - we would. And the world will be in total chaos, simply because there are so many gods". I gave an example of 2 guys praying for the same girl. Who will win? In the end, it's God's will that'll prevail.

She did not give an answer to that. She was just quiet. But her face tells me that she wasn't convinced. In fact, after some thought, I wasn't convinced myself. Then this verse popped in my head - this Psalm 37:4. It took some time before it finally sank into my soul.

To delight in God is to find everything we need in Him. And He is indeed everything we need. A friend that never gives up on us, always forgives, loves us unconditionally. It's about understanding who God is and how much He loves us. It's about being assured by the One who gave it all, and will continue to provide all that we need. It's freedom - freedom from trying too hard to gain love, acceptance, peace, comfort, security.

Get insurance with God and do a good deed, settle down and stick to your last. Keep company with God, get in on the best. (The Message)

Psalm 23:1 - The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

Galatians 5:1 - It is for freedom that Christ has set us free

Friday, November 03, 2006

A Pleasant Surprise

Saturday is the longest day of the week for me. So it was nice to come home to see something different on my table last week.

Jeff at So I Go mentioned about sending a book to me more than a month ago. And it finally arrived. Just days before the package arrived, I emailed Jeff to make sure he actually sent out the mail already. He replied, mentioning that he even had to declare that the package contained a book (not any biological weapon of mass destruction). The green paper on the package validates his statement.
But I still couldn't figure out the reason for the delay. Studying the package further provided me with more answers.

(A chop indicating that it was only released by the Malaysian customs on October 25th.)

Every morning I get excited about opening my email account, hoping to see an email from the friends I seldom meet. And to receive an old-fashion, snail-mail package... The feeling is just awesome. Though I have never met Jeff Jacobson, he is a man I truly admire. He started off like me (I think). Just a guy who wrote a script & wanted it out there. But Jesus took him on a ride & now he is literally living my dream.

And just when I've been considering about writing a book (yes I am), he sends me this...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

His first blog gained so much viewership that it became a book!! Wow!! Often times reading So I Go gave me the feeling of sitting with Jeff at a coffee table & just listening to him talk about his journey. I hope that I can lend this book to someone who would enjoy it over a cup of joe... Haha...

I flipped through the pages & then settled upon the acknowledgement page.

"For my fellow bloggers, who believed in me and provided a steady stream of affirmation throughout these chapters, I cannot thank you enough"

Wow... What a joy it is to have someone, from half-way across the world, to share his dream & allow me to participate & be a part of it.

If you want to buy this book of his, you can go here and get it online. For more of Jeff Jacobson, check out the following sites.

p.s I forgot to take pictures of what Jeff wrote to me personally. Aiya...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Choose This Day.

Our beloved Brother Mark Ng, currently serving YWAM, reminded me about aligning my life to serve only 1 God. The story in Daniel 3 is familiar, yet I forgot the significance of the lesson taught there.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego had this unshakeble faith. Just like the heroes of faith mentioned in Hebrews 11, they stood steadfast without the assurance that they would survive the King's wrath. They were willing to go through the fire, and their faith was proven to be unshakeble & changed an entire nation's allegience (Daniel 3:28-29).
Lemuel Yee, from Canaan Church, came for the youth service and told us to no longer hop on one foot. The text was taken from 1 King 18, highlighting the showdown between Elijah & the prophets of Ba'al. The people of Israel showed up too, and Elijah gave a call...
' "How long will you falter between two opinions? If the Lord is God, then follow Him; but if Baal, follow him." but the people answered him not a word.'
Have we become a people who waver back and forth between Jesus & the other idols in our lives? Are we like the people of Israel in 1 King 18, awaiting for the outcome of the fight... Awaiting to see if God will deliver us from a certain situation before choosing to live a life of obedience towards Him? What if God does not deliver? What if God does not heal? Would we still choose to follow?
It was much more convenient for the 3 teenagers to just bow down, to submit to the waves of demands that come our way. It's safer to accept things as they are, and simply follow the crowd. After all, everyone's doing it. Why bother making the extra effort to initiate change and right the wrong now? Why risk stability? Why break the silence & risk being unpopular?
Elijah made his stand. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego made theirs. They found it necessary to stand strong, to speak out loud, to suffer, to be laughed at, to risk it all; all for what's true & good. I pray that we all will find our reasons to do likewise in this time.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Who's Your Daddy?

I love how Pastor Alpha wrote the following post....

a few months ago, a thought entered my mind:

  • did God make Adam so that God could have Adam to love him?
  • or did God make Adam so that God could have Adam to love?

it's one of those "small difference" questions that can alter the entire course of one's life. it's like the proverbial ship that sets off on a long voyage just a few degrees off course and ends up at a different country altogether.

did God make Adam so Adam could love God? or did God make Adam so God could love Adam?

all the difference in the world.

what is this difference?

  • is the good I seek to do in this life my response to the fact that I am loved, or
  • is the good that I seek to do, my attempt to buy love?

Read here for the full post.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Today I turn 22...

and I'm struggling for words... Birthdays can be very depressing. Another year has passed and I don't know if I have done anything at all in this dream-fulfilling journey of mine.

Perhaps it's because I'm beginning to see the path clearer now and there's still so many things to be done!! Short term goals & projects are serving as stepping stones, training ground & a good roadmap. Currently I am at a crossroad. I've been offered a career opportunity of a lifetime. Yet at the same time I have a brilliant business idea - the chance to earn money while doing something I absolutely love for a great cause. Talked with dad about it last night & he (indirectly) said that I lack discipline to work as my own boss. And he is right. I have to start being discipline. I have a lot on my shoulders & I don't want to disappoint the people that trust me.

PEOPLE... So many people. I want to impact their lives - my colleagues, the businessmen I meet everyday, waiters, train passangers, friends, old schoolmates, long lost friends, residents of Jalan Ipoh. I want the sisters to know that perfect love is found in God. I want the brothers to know that friendship is a precious thing. I want young people to know that their lives are meant for so much more. I want them to be people of HOPE, people of FAITH, and people of LOVE. I want the world to know that when they put their hope in Jesus, they can describe their lives as ABUNDANT, FULL, LIVELY, not mundane, or boring.

I want my parents to know that I love them very much & I appreaciate everything they do for me. I want to thank them for providing me with a place I can call HOME & for allowing May to feel the same way. I want my brother Emmanuel to know that I admire his many good qualities, especially his ability to capture an audience. I want May to know that I love her & I pray that I'll be able to be her best friend & a good role model always. I want Michael Chow to know that I miss him dearly wherever he is. I want the youth leaders who have been working with me for the past 5 years to know that I'm sorry that I didn't lead them well enough & that their potentials are limitless. To TOUCH and all the young people in FCC, I desire to inspire them to live a life of GREATNESS by achieving the dreams I have set out for.

Other special shout outs for :-

  • Alina Ong - my dad prayed Psalm 20 over me this morning. It's for you too. Happy Birthday.
  • Chong Soo Fen & Samuel Tan - you have shaped my life, more than you know.
  • Lemuel Yee - thank you for your friendship. With you I can be myself. You are thought-provoking & inspiring.
  • Ming Yan - I didn't know what to expect with you. But I'm glad we're friends.
  • Mike Ng - You're simply an amazing guy & friend.
  • Famous people who don't know me (yet) - Amanda Congdon, David Letterman, Kenny Sia, David Tao - you make me believe that dreams can come true.

Monday, October 16, 2006


Got this sms from Daniel... Not sure who composed it, but it's quite inspiring...
When we ponder upon the stars,
When we reach for our dreams,
We're never bothered by how far away they seem.
Instead we are inspired by the beauty of our vision.
Dreams are like stars=brilliant & enthusiastic.
The beauty of the stars will give you strength,
Inspire you to move on,
& make your dreams come true.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Jesus, Be The Center

Jesus, be the center,
Be my source, be my light, Jesus.
Jeus, be the center,
Be my hope, be my song, Jesus.
Be the fire in my heart,
Be the wind in these sails,
Be the reason that I love,
Jesus, Jesus.
Jesus, be my vision,
Be my path, be my guide, Jesus.
By Vineyard.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Blessed Assurance

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1
"He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love." Song of Solomon 2:4

Friday, October 06, 2006

My ExG3 piece

This is my ExG 3 piece - yup, another video. I was in such a blur that evening that I forgot to take my thumbdrive along to the event (left it in the office). The worse part was that I didn't know it until the very last minute. Got to show a few people that night at my house. Then several more saw it when they were gathering at my place.

But what they saw was the incomplete version. I figured since I was already late in submitting for ExG 3, I might as well spend more time on it & make it better. So there, it's better now. No one has seen this version. So you lucky reader you...

*p/s - Remember, press "Play" then press "Pause", wait till the grey bar is full before pressing "Play" again.Your comments and ratings are much appreciated.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I'm Desperate

Dear God,
I am overwhelmed by dreams.
I need MIRACLES to fulfill them.
Give me all I need now,
Or slow down with the dreams somehow.
Show me the in-between
Of Desperation & Patience.
Give me peace to be still,
Move me into motion.
Assure me of the day
Of the fulfillment of prophecy
Where my heart can be free
To live like I dreamt,
& be all I'm meant to be.
I'm desperate.

A Sunday Morning Of A Different Sort

My usual Sunday would be going to church at 9am in the morning & attending prayer / class at 9.3oam. Things start to pick up pace right about 10.25am. Visiting the toilet before service begins, tuning an instrument, preparing the video camera... occasional I could say "hi" to someone & squeeze in a lame joke, just to end the conversation with a smile. And then service begins.  And then it ends & the rush begins yet again. Worship team debriefing, quick chats, another visit to the toilet, lunch, and youth service is from 2pm - 4pm.
Visited Canaan Church last Sunday. Gave the pastor a scare by suggesting that he was suppose to be in my church that day. Encountered a persistent usher in Kok Leong (which was a good thing), had a good chat with Jasmine, had great chats with Joshua & Elroi after service, talked about football with the guys over coffee and the Sunday paper... It was a fruitful time.
So I want to give a big shout out to the people of Canaan Church for hosting me. With you, I enjoyed God & His people. Hope I can visit more often.

Thursday, September 28, 2006


Sometimes we ask too much of "fire" & "revival" that we don't realise God is waiting for us to shut up so He can give us that very thing we asked for. Are you willing to stop the singing & the praying, forgo the next agenda, and just linger in His presence & allow Him to say something?

Friday, September 15, 2006

Love without agenda

This is a good read. Check out Gina's blog for more good stuff.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

A Shaking

These are exciting times. Time to reach out in love, time for discipleship, time for harvest, time for revival. A shaking is going on - nations, families, churches, & individuals are feeling it - just like God said it would a few months back. I sense this shaking tells of the breaking of the earth, where springs of water would burst forth just like in Noah's time, and the glory of God would cover the earth, as the water covers the sea. Ask God to open your eyes. The harvest is indeed ready, people everywhere are hungry. They need someone to show the light, they need someone to guide them. I hope that through my actions & in my writing I can cast that vision & inspire people to make a move.

Monday, September 11, 2006

The Excitement

There's this urge in my heart, more than ever in recent weeks, to inspire & motivate others to fulfill their potential. Exciting times are ahead & whenever I think about it, I can almost feel the wind of change.
It's going to be a fun ride. You won't want to miss it.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Strangers in our land.

In October 2005, a group of China students came to our church. It was a English learning visit for them. Celine was the person I greeted that Sunday morning, & you could feel her enthusiasm. It didn't take long to identify Jack as the class clown / representative. He's tiny in size, but we would know him as someone with a big heart. Angel deceived us all (me, at least) by dressing all white - a lovely blouse & a skirt - something I've not seen her wear since. Windy was the most confident of all & her walk up to the front to introduce herself to the crowd proved that. And Zizi - she always had a sweet smile.

Throughout the year we have bonded. We would house them weekly & take them church. We would cook for one another & eat together. They even joined us for Christmas carolling. We became like family. We loved them & they loved us right back.

In less than 4 weeks' time, they will all be heading back to our motherland, China. We decided to visit them at the place they are carrying out their training on Merdeka Day. My dad is away in US & there's a chance that they would not meet again. I didn't know why, but I did bring along the video camera & thought of a great idea - recording down what their "parting words" to my dad. There were tears - both of joy and of sorrow.

I saw the video several times as I showed it to May, my mom, my cell group... And I just marvel at what God has done. Each one of them had been touched by our little acts of kindness - both intentional & unintentional ones. God gave us the heart to love them, these strangers in our land, and they have professed to have felt the love of Jesus. I know 2 of them who has placed their hope and trust in this God of ours.

I hope they delay their departure. They have been a bundle of joy.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Fly Away

There's a saying that "if you can't beat them, join them". I say "if you can't beat them, run away and start a revolution. Make them join you". Never settle for the ordinary or the mundane or the acceptable or the norm... Never accept "Life's like that" or "whatever's like that"...
Life is short. Time is precious. More & more I am convinced that all that matters is loving people, receiving others' love for us, & giving our best in our circle of influence... So go on holidays with your family. Voice out when something isn't right, & don't let anyone silence you until change comes about. Learn to love. Care for people. Don't waste your time worrying or doing things that don't matter. 
It's time to fly. FLY.
_ joash.


Thursday, August 17, 2006

Good News

Mom brought back a message similiar to what God is saying here to a bunch of us. That is God wants to love us. He wants to be with us, speak to us, enjoy us, care for us, laugh with us. It's as simple as that. Everything begins and ends in His love. Call it whatever you want - WORSHIP, FELLOWSHIP, EVANGELISM - all these we do in response and as a consequence of knowing that love.

Galatians 5:6 - For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love.
There's more to come.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

a gist of an update

I want to pen down my thougths and everything in my heart, but at this present time my mind is bombarded with too many things. Went for Youth Pastors' School at Awana, Genting, last week. Being able to get out of work and enjoy good food, good fellowship, and good times is such a wonderful thing. I intend to give myself more holidays in the future. Throughout that time God has reaffirmed His direction for me & now my confidence is boosted. I'm not alone in this, and that's another thing I'm grateful for.
So many things are going wrong in work right now. I'm so glad & relieved that I don't have to part of this world system for long.
Mom is back from US. Thinking about my family and May as well, I cry. I cry because I know I am loved.
2 weeks of youth programmes have been interrupted & maybe it's a good thing. I have so much in my heart now & it's only right to have more time seeking God first.
Uphold me in prayer. I'll try to write again soon.

Friday, August 04, 2006

They showed me Jesus

It's amazing how God chooses to speak to us. I am so grateful that my God is creative. It would be pretty dull to listen that monotoneous, deep, bassy voice, and echoes... Come to think of it, that's a bad representation of how He would sound if we heard Him with an audible voice. Heaven's sound system is the best - so won't have echoes & feedback...
Anyway, went to pasar malam (night market) on Monday after my work. It was a stressful day and I thought that I would just grab something to eat & return home. But God had something different installed for me. He used the hawkers to cheer me up. The locksmith was confident he could duplicate my keys in 1 minute & I actually timed him!! He missed his mark & we laughed about it. Then this guy was giving his last call as I walked pass his satay stall. I thought I heard him shout 20 cents but it was 30 cents. Then I counted 12 stickes left but he counted 13, and I was wrong again. Had a good laugh there too.
Walking away I just wanted to cry. I saw Jesus in them that night. Each one that I have encountered in that short period of time has blessed me with conversation and their smile. Each one of them were created in the image of God and has the form of God. They just don't realise or acknowledge the power source. Each one is capable of loving & caring & blessing someone's life. 
Now I need to digest this truth and bring it to my workplace, church, and my neighbourhood. Somehow the more you spend time with people you tend to look at their weaknesses & flaws instead. Maybe we got off the wrong foot. I need to see people through the eyes of Jesus.
Hmm. That last statement I made... I know it but maybe I have not learned how to. Maybe I should go to pasar malam more often.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Carry On We Shall

Following up on our previous gathering for a time of seeking, we did it again last Saturday. The number increased from 4 to 6. We prepared ourselves to seek His direction for our lives. We determined in our hearts not to put God in a box & expect Him to speak about a particular situation - ministry, relationships, work... We wanted to hear from Him. We wanted to know what's in His heart.
We started off with what we were familiar with - singing songs to Him with just the guitar and our voices. I was a bit concerned when we got rather loud. It's a good thing that the house beside mine was unoccupied. Furthermore, our singing was quite lovely - if compared to the Karaoke sessions during the Hungry Ghost festival.
Waiting upon Him wasn't an easy thing to do considering I had been through 2 long days. I was starting to wonder if I'll get Him this time when He finally spoke. He warned that we shouldn't give Him a timeline to show up. Fair enough - He is God after all. Then I saw another motion picture in my head. The scenes starts of with a front view of a tall building. It looks strong & elegent. However, the camera quickly moves to the side of the building & enters through the window to reveal the inside part of the building, which isn't as majestic as the front view implied.
Feel that God was saying that we have come to Him hiding the true condition of our hearts. In spite of that, He was determined to move into our inward parts & confront us with those things that we hoped He would not bring up. How foolish to try to hide from the very person who knows everything & still loves!! But doesn't that just show how insecure and ignorant we are about His love? God said that He was determined to hold on to us this time. Wow!!
God spoke to everyone in the room. Perhaps they should tell you what they heard. God really led us in His presence. The right songs, the right words... It was like when we entered into His House He took the lead - rightfully so, of course.
The desire of my heart now is to share this experience with my youth group & teach them to do the same in their cell groups. I believe He is raising up a generation of GodSeekers & GodChasers.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Open Up Our Hearts

Divine appointment led this brother to my house late Monday night. I opened up my house & he opened up his heart. It's one of those rare-and-should-happen-more-often moments, where one poured out his heart and shared his life experience, sorrow & hurt, hope, wrong-doing, desires... I was really humbled by this brother's honesty & sincerity. He had a broken spirit - perfect for God to begin His work of restoration. And He is doing that.
Throughout our entire conversation I was just in awe of God's goodness. I feel so honoured & privileged & humbled (does this make sense?) that He sent someone for me to minister and be ministered to in this manner. He's telling me something, I just can't figure it all out yet.

This Saturday a bunch of us are gathering in my house for a time of seeking God again. My heart is filled with fear, excitement, joy, hope. God is good.

Do not shut the heavens... but open up our hearts.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Time of Breaking and Refreshing

I felt Jesus over the weekend. I felt Jesus breaking me - tearing down all my ideas of prayer, worship, and church. I felt His presence when I was with Kelvin in the car and at lunch; I sensed His covering when I was watching football (looking at a small screen from a distance) with Brian & Caleb; I saw Him paint a picture when 4 of us - Caleb, Jason, Ken, myself - as we spent time waiting upon God.
I couldn't go on with prayer meeting that Saturday afternoon, because as I walked into the sanctuary God spoke. He asked me if I would attend church or youth service or  prayer meeting or cell group if I were not a leader, if I didn't have a say of how things are to be done in the church. Maybe I have misused the church to my own pleasure. Have I been another consumer of the church? Bending and pull strings together to make sure that church becomes what I want her to be. He invited him to search my heart, release all my mindsets and let Him redefine what church is all about and teach me how I can give to its cause.
In my room that night, we decided that we should be just still and let God speak to us. God drew us near and spoke to us. In my mind a movie was screened. I was a leper coming in God's house. I took off my cape and uncovered my face. I acknowledge that my sin and pride and hypocrisy brought these hurts upon myself. I just wanted it all to go away. I showed Him my hurts and asked Him to make me whole again.
I waited for His response. But He did something unexpected - He showed me His hands. He told me that my sin and pride and hypocrisy has caused many hurts to me and the people around me, but I hurt Him the most. On my knees, I held His hand and cried. I hurt the one who loves me most.
That reminded me again that it's all about Jesus and I. It's all about Jesus and I. What Ken shared was similiar. He saw a river, and he was dancing and rejoicing in the river. He was telling everyone about it, asking them to jump into the river and join in the celebration. But no one responded to his plea. Then God spoke, "Why are you dancing and rejoicing in the river and telling everyone of this river while you have not drank from this river? Drink the water of this river for yourself."...
God spoke further through Jason, giving 2 words - Breaking and Refreshing. It's certainly true for me. I feel Him breaking me. He's doing it because He wants to renew me. For that, I am grateful.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

My Cell Group

God has blessed me with a wonderful cell group. Each one carries a different vibe and unique personality. By the grace of God we often have very open and transparent sharings and discussion. It's so beautiful to hear a young person talk about life in school, peer pressure, sibling relationship, music, God... To me, this is church. Sharing life together, meeting needs, encouraging and praying for one another to be the light and salt to the people we know and brush pass everyday, sharing and showing the Jesus we know individually, motivating our walk in knowing this huge God.

It's such a joy to be with them. I see Jesus in all of them. Everytime we meet I feel that they are investing time in my life.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Why I Didn't Go To Church On Fathers' Day

I could have easily refused my colleagues' request to come back to work on weekends. All I have to do is dish out my religious fervour and I'm spared from the misery. They have respect for our muslim clients' prayer time, so it won't be hard to say that "I need to go to church, please respect my religion"... Church + Religion - I have been pondering upon these 2 words for a long time now.

What is the purpose of church? Attending church service and singing songs and watching performances and listening to a sermon - if all these are an end in itself, then... No. I can't even imagine what it'll be like.
God = Love. A church without love is a church without God. Isn't it our job to point people towards God, towards the source of love? What's the use of church if we don't love? What's the use of prayer, worship, church service, cell group, youth ministry, evangelism, if we don't love?

My Indian colleague is near retirement age. I don't know how many chidren he has. I remember hearing him talking about his 2 sons. He had to work on Sunday - Fathers' Day. Judging from the 3 hours I spent at work, both of us really didn't need to show up that day. But I was glad I spent 3 hours with a father, helping him as much as I could. I didn't go to church because of him. I was compelled to go to work that day, but not by the pressure from my seniors, but by love. I didn't mention Jesus nor show him verses from the bible. I was just there to spend a moment of Fathers' Day with a father.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

John 3:17

Alpha @ NanoChurch once again brought up an issue (read it here)I have trouble applying in my life with balance. And my balancing act is way far from perfection. Here's the imaginary conversation between God and I on the matter::
me: Ok. So that's what You do.
God: yes, and you can do it too.
me: But You're God. Your ways are so much higher than mine.
God: Sure You can. I say so.
me: Well, it's easier said than done. I guess I'm still processing the idea.
God: You'll get it.
me: How do I apply this here on earth? It's so hard to find the right balance.
God: What makes you think there's a balance?
me: There isn't?
God: What's My motto?
me: erm... Love no matter what??
God: See, I told you I didn't make you dumb.
me: But I'm missing something out, right? Or else we wouldn't be having this conversation... How do I love? How can I love the way that You do?
God: What is love?
me: Is this a trick question?
God: Play along, son.
me: Well, YOU are love!!
God: That's right. And I can love the way that I do because....??
me: Because You are love??
God: And you know that if I do something, it's out of love because...??
me: Because I know that You are love??
God: So what is your question?
me: In order to love, I first need to BE LOVE?
God: Yes, you need to be all about love. Everything about you, must be about love. I want you to think about this.
me: You know I will. But this matter sounds harder than it was before...
God: Who ever told you following Me will be easy?
me: I followed You because I know You're the way.
God: Right, the narrow way that leads to life.
me: Right.
God: You'll get it. I want you to.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Experimental Grounds 2nd wave

We had our ExG 2 last Friday night. It's really nice to see young people expressing themselves in worship unto God. Some of them were absolutely inspiring. I'll be writing about it later. I'll be making the video on the event and post it on the internet. You'll be able to find it at the sidebar link "My Videos". For now, i'll just show you my piece.

This is only the first version. I had to rush through the ending, as it was really late already and I know it was going to be a long day ahead. As I was lying on my bed I actually had to force myself to stop thinking about ways to improve the video. I've decided to get back to this project after I have completed the church videos. I think there's 5 videos that need to be done. So that will take 2 weeks.

Feel free to give comments. And if you're rich, you may want to consider being my producer for my movie. Haha. Enjoy.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The Baptism

It has been thirty days since our church's family day cum water baptism. More than 20 people gave their testimony of Jesus. Each were given 3 minutes to speak, but the existence of an interpretor ( a.k.a interruptor) to help all English speaking, Chinese speaking, and Bahasa Malaysia speaking people understand the message backfired as the time was almost doubled and the crowd grew restless and noisy.
I wonder if they heard the testimonies but I certainly did - I was the cameraman for the day. Each one had a special story about how they met Jesus and why they want to be baptised. There were little, but significant, victories that day. Some actually had their non-believing family to witness their baptism. WOW. That is just mind-blowing. God is doing a great work indeed. As they submerged in water, I felt that they weren't too concerned about the unattentive crowd. They knew their story was sounded and heard - by their family, by the devil, and by their Saviour.
I felt excited for them, especially those who were close to my heart. Dad came back this week and we saw the video. And I was again amazed by God's work over their lives. I have this tendency  of getting frustrated at the rate of their growth(pride and ungratefulness getting the better of me), but I don't want to doubt God's hand over their lives again. I must let God be God, and learn to love no matter what. I pray that they cherish this wonderful beginning. I'm so excited. I know God has something special planned for them.
I pray next year we'll be baptising some of my friends who have yet to believe.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

A Time of Repentance

At our last prayer meeting, the Holy Spirit led us to a place of repentance. We asked God to forgive us for placing Him in a box, in spite of all our good intentions. For so long we have been asking for all the "good stuff" - revival, healing, breakthrough, salvation - but we have not seeked God's heart. We prayed according to what we thought was necessary, needed, or missing in the church today. We asked God to conform to our desires, assuming that He would deliver according to our timing.
And because of this attitude, we have belittled this Dream-Giver. We made Him too small in our eyes. We forgot that He's the so-much-more God. We form our ideas of Him base on what we hear from pastors, elders, people we admire, and books. We did not seek Him. We forgot that He can do exceedingly and abundantly far greater than our hopes and imagination. We leaned on our idealisms, and disregarded His grace. His grace is sufficient, right? By our actions, we projected our disbelief. We couldn't lie to God. He knows it all.
There were prophesies. We needed to be set apart unto holiness and good works, and we needed to return to our first love. We were encouraged to place our worries at His feet and exchange it for His yoke and burden, which is light and easy.
Our prayer that night, and even now, is that God be magnified, and He take us deeper in love with Him. We desire so much to be by His side, in His embrace, listening to His voice, feeling His heartbeat... Take us there, Lord. Take us there. We want to be your partners in prayer.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Do we really want it?

You can't desire revival without being willing to pay the price or be the vessel through which it comes.
Maybe we haven't experienced revival as seen in the times of Acts because we don't really want it. Sure, we pray and ask God for revival. But do we really want it?
Is it fear that holds us back? Fear of persecution, rejection, death, commitment, sacrifice (time and money)? All these are likely to happen, and it's required. But do we know what God requires of us in the first place? Jesus only asked the people to wait in the upper room, and the rest is history. Maybe we have been fearing the unknown so much, that we are afraid to ask God what He really wants from us.
Do we even know God? Have we experienced His love? Do we recognise His voice? Do we know His words?
We know revival is good. We know God is good. We know that He won't give us what we cannot bear. We know where He wants us to go, He makes the way for us.
Now we need to know the heart of God. That's the best place to start.

This struggle of mine

Everything is the same. Nothing has changed. What's the use of discussing it? What's the point in mentioning it or bringing it up? Where is hope in repeating the same things over and over and over again?
I was silent. Maybe I was silenced, if there's such a word. My spirit is weak, and my flesh is ready to explode.
Here we are again. Same problems, same issues, same statements, same emphasis, same attitude... Something's gotta give. Should it be me? My presence hasn't made a positive effect. I felt useless. I feel useless. What's the point in staying and hoping when it has been so long now? Can I really make a difference? Will things ever turn out for good? Lies of the evil one... why do they seem so true?!!
I know it oh so well. It's never about the team. It's never about the individuals. It's not about the ministry. It's not about the leadership. All these are irrelevant in the light of what this Dream-Giver wants of me.
It's about CHANGING ME. It's about having that difference in me. It's about Christ-likeness - pleasing the Dream-Giver and loving people (even enemies); giving grace, just as much as I have received grace, regardless of the circumstances. And to be frank, I resent that. I am frustrated. He knows it. I can't lie about it. He also knows I love GRACE, because it's good and it's something free, given to all who don't deserve it at all. Given to me. I am without excuse. I have no right to be hopeless. Dang. He's good...
Here we are again. I hate this. I haven't changed. I am still the same.
I need peace. I want hope.
Don't give up on me. Draw near to me. Show me love. Teach me how to love.

Monday, May 08, 2006

It's Time To Fly

In the VisionCast Service last Sunday, I taught about Galations 5:6 which says that "For in Christ Jesus, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion has any value; what mattes is something far more interior - faith expressing itself in love". Easter Sunday reminded us of the implications of the blood of Jesus - the redemptive power of it all. We are no longer bound by law or religion or traditions. Salvation is assured. So 2 questions are left now, and I challenged the youth, myself included.

What is your faith? Do you know what you believe in? Are you sure of what you believe in? Millions of people since the early church has died and suffered under persecution of the faith. Many more have dedicated their entire lives to tell others of that same faith. Do you know what you believe? Do you know God?

What is love? How would you define love? How do you show love? Is it giving your best, your all? What then is your best, your all? There's no one else that can decide that but ourselves; it's between God and each individual - the how, what, and how much. So often I hear young people talking about how busy their lives are, and how they wish they can do this or do that. It's time to stop the wishing and start the walking!!

I reminded them about the commissioning of Peter. Peter just denied Christ a few days before Jesus asked him that important question- "Do you love Me?". That was Jesus' only concern, really. It was the only requirement for Jesus to trust Peter with that great commission and duty. The answer to that question would determine our direction and our course of action, which is far more important then our current state of being.

And maybe you can hear Jesus asking you that today. If it helps you, then imagine so... It's Time To Fly.

To watch the video:

1. Click on the "play" button.

2. Click on the "pause" button.

3. Wait till the the grey line is full, indicating that the loading process is complete. In the mean time, go and read an email or something.

4. Click on the "play" icon again and enjoy.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

A Vision

Found this piece of sermon as I was looking through old stuff. It's for our youth ministry's VisionCast 2004 - Cross for the Cause. 2 years I have learned much and my thoughts, perceptions have evolved as well. Nonetheless, this still remains as a part of my vision for myself and the youth ministry I serve in. The following is the contents of this sermon::

I have a vision - Unity among the youth. Unity through much work and prayer. I want everyone to be so excited for God and for the work of God that our youth will be happening and filled with joy and fun even though we might get tired. So much so that each one will only have love for one another because of their commitment to the Lord. United with one vision, moving towards one direction, there will be no arguments. No time for that. Souls will rush in to the extend that we could only reach out, forgetting about self pride and arrogance. Praise God! Great thought, don't you think? Let's hope it doesn't stay that way.

VisionCast Sunday - 12.1.2003

Cross for the Cause :: Luke 9:23 - Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me".

The Cause :: John 18:37 - "You are a king, then!" said Pilate. Jesus answered, "You are right in saying I am a king. In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."

- To bear witness to the truth.
- To win the world through our transformed lives by faith in Christ Jesus.
- For the King and the Kingdom.

If we could focus our lives on that cause, God will breathe life into our vision, like we never dreamt possible.

1st - Everyone (the church)
- To have a hunger for His presence and to never stop seeking Him. Presence Evangelism.
- The only way for His presence to come is with REPENTANCE and BROKENNESS - Die to self.

2nd - "take up his cross..."
- Each individual has a specific calling. Galatians 6:2-5, 1 Corinthians 12:12
- Therefore, each member of this body has a role to play for this body to function as it should. To follow Christ, you need to fulfill that calling; To fulfill that calling, you need to know that calling; To know that calling, you need to know God - your creator.

3rd - The cross of Jesus.
- Jesus died for a cause that we are to live for.
- Looking at the cross reminds me of the extent of Christ's determination to save the world.
- The gospel = the message of love and sacrifices of God.
- For everything we need, look to the cross - look to Jesus.

Cross for the Cause

- To walk with determination, knowing and clinging to the ultimate purpose, and finish the walk no matter what it takes.
- To forfeit all fleshly desires, totally set apart, holy and acceptable unto the Lord.
- In everythign we do, Christ is the center, that we glorify the Almighty with a holy zeal and passion.
- That every cause that we will cross for will be in God's will and purpose for our lives.


Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Removing a tag.

6 years back, when I started to be a part of the worship ministry in my church, I was introduced to the term "Front line". Back in the old testament, the worshippers were the front line of the army in battle. And in that age and time (6 years back), I was given that motivation - to take this ministry seriously by working on my skills as well as my personal walk with God. Well recently I was reminded about that term again, and it got me to thinking...
Back in the old testament they were literally in the front line, weren't they? Now the modern day worshippers are engaged in a battle,  not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.... so really, if we were to really take up the calling as true worshippers, we have to be the 'front line' of many areas such as healing and deliverance, prayer... won't you agree?
And what about that verse saying that we are all royal priesthood? We are a generation of priest, given the ministry of reconciliation to bring about the message of the restoration between God and man - regardless of the ministry we serve in. That is our calling - the church's calling.
Personally, I would like the "front line" tag to be removed altogether, or at least rightly placed - upon those who truly are trying their darnest to answer the call. Personally, I would settle for the worship ministry as being just like all other ministries in the church - an expression of worship / contributes to the well being of the BODY / to be treated with honour and thanksgiving / important to God's heart / its member flawed and imperfect / a platform for its members' growth.

Friday, April 14, 2006

VC06_Teaser 2 - Settling for Mediocrity?

Has you and I been guilty of settling for mediocrity? Words like full-time ministers, Christian Arts and Media, Christian works has creeped into our mindset; and of course, there's the misuse of the words such as "GRACE" and "JUDGE NOT" taken from the bible by certain individuals as an excuse for not giving their best to God. God has redeemed my whole being, if not none of it!! So let all that is within me, bless the Lord!!

How long have we settled for so-much-less-than-best in the church, things that is intolerable in the working world, the money world? How many times do we rejoice and be satisfied with small things and achievements in the Kingdom of God?

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Be the better man

Was reminded of this post I wrote last August by May. I thought it was pretty well-written (self -praise = international disgrace) Thought I would bring it up again... Haha. If you're new to my blog, you can look into the archives for more of my previous posts... It's certainly refreshing for me to read my past writings...

God is looking for better men, not methods.

Sometimes, we have got to stop thinking about the hows... We want to have better answers to counter the comments and judgement on Christianity & Christians. We feel the need to explain the necessity for Sunday worship, Wednesday prayer, cell group, mission trips to weird places, and the Christian stuff that we do on a regular basis… We get uncomfortable when our friends ask us why we lay hands and pray for a toothache when all you need to do is see a dentist… We get a bit frustrated when our colleagues laugh at our attempt to explain that Jesus is God and also Son of God… We worry because our brother gives a bad testimony to other non-believers.

We respond the way we do because we forget the battle is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and rulers of darkness. We forget that it’s not by might, power, or words that hearts get changed but only by the Spirit of the Lord. We forget that by the same we judge the world the world will judge us. We forget that Christianity is about a relationship with God, something that's better experienced than argued. We forget that action speaks much, much louder than words. We’ve been trying and trying, but really our focus is off track.

What we really need to do is get down our knees and ask the Dream-Giver to give us a vision of a CHANGED-ME. Make the bold prayer to ask the Holy Spirit to do anything necessary to turn the nations back to Christ – be it changing our attitude and heart, or to break down our pride and trust in our own strength and intelligence. Ask Jesus to give you the compassion to love without judging, the wisdom to stand without defending, and the faith to run with a God-given dream without feeling the ground on your feet, because that’s when we’re really flying

Maybe we’ve been doing too much without really knowing what to do. I suggest we get over ourselves. All we can do is pray and submit to His change. The sooner we figure that out, we sooner the real work begins…

Storm. Peace.

Have been going through a roller coaster ride with my thoughts and emotions lately. It's so hard to hear the prompting of the Spirit sometimes, with so many thoughts, so many suggestions, so many mixed emotions, so many things to be done, so many things want to be said. So many things I want to let go, but don't want to lose. Courage spurs me to march on without fear, but caution gets me to pay attention to fear. I fear that lives would be sucked dry by the world because of my silence; I fear that lives would turn away from God because of my frankness.

Sometimes I even wonder why I feel the need to say the things I want to say or write the things I write... Where's my direction? What's my motivation? Who am I anyway? Why do I have to be concerned about all these things? Why do I think of my words and actions as life-death factors? Am I being self-righteous? What makes me think that anything I do would make any significant difference? I know the answers to all these, or at least I think I do. Need to hear that still small voice again...

This weekend is VisionCast Sunday 2006 for my church's youth ministry, along with Easter Sunday. I have to prepare for my sharing on VisionCast and make the video too. Please pray for me. It's going to be a long week. I pray that God will bless the works of my hand this week, as well as those worshippers who truly desire to please our Dream-Giver. I pray that none of us would be doing something for the sake of tradition or just doing something, especially on Easter weekend. Peace and joy be upon you as you go about serving God. Always remember, though, that the source of everything you could ever ask for is in the Dream-Giver.

Death (2)

Yet another funeral was on this past Tuesday. I used the public holiday to record the videos I need for the VisionCast Sunday, and planned to use the night time to capture all of it into my computer (which will take like 2 hours, minimum)... But I went for the service anyway. Have to mourn with those who mourn...  4 of my church members were attached to the deceased - 2 daughters and 2 grandchildren.
The funeral service was one of the most peaceful ones I've attended. 3 children gave their testimony and account on the life of their mother. With deep conviction and genuine hope they expressed their faith in the eternal Kingdom of Heaven, where those who found GRACE through the death and resurrection of ONE. They shed some tears at the end of the service, but their hope in Jesus assured JOY EXCEEDING. This is the hope we have in Jesus.
For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died for them and was raised again.
But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God's grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many!

Friday, March 31, 2006


Can I share from my heart?
We have a youth prayer meeting on Saturday. It was initially started by my brother, who is currently studying in Australia, in the old Teng residence. To accommodate more people to participate in this good thing, the time and location was changed. For a while we had many, but now we have a faithful handful, with the rare occasion of others.
People just don't come to pray. Leaders don't come to pray. Musicians don't come to pray. Worshippers don't come to pray - what an oxymoron! I've been thinking about this matter since the new year now. Things aren't changing. A major reconstruction of the church is necessary, and it looks like we're dealing with the foundation, isn't it? I try to ask people to come. But because I'm the pastor's kid, I don't understand and it's much easier for me to be actively involve in building the everlasting Kingdom.
Should there be a rule for this - All leaders should come for prayer? Will that make a change? Would that be any good? Haha, maybe. Most probably not. It would more likely drive people away from the ministry... It's sad, but it's true. I do sometimes consider personally attack, haha, challenge their priorities. I'm pretty sure I'm going to win such an argument, because I'm good at describing things (not always a good thing), but I fear the consequences of losing a friend.
Before the past prayer meeting on Wednesday, as I continue to ponder on this matter, God reminded me the joy of being able to entering into His presence and be at His throne of grace. I need not frown. If my focus is on numbers, then I should focus on Number One.  What a great joy be able to enter into His presence, lifting prayers, petitions, thanksgiving and praise. Having others joining along is an added incentive. God reminded me also of how I was before He did that change in my heart. No one scolded me or challenged my priorities, no one gave me a set of rules. Rules and laws bind the soul, but only TRUTH (that can only come from God and be understood by man because of His grace) sets free.
And finally, God reminded me of something really important - I have people around me who share the same convictions. I have prayer partners!! Wow!! So here's my conviction - People don't come to pray. For whatever reason, valid or invalid, most people just don't come to pray. I'll just continue to pray. Sure, I'll pray for people to come. But my focus would be that God will continue to work in my life, that the Dream-Giver would continue to mould me into a runner He can be proud of.
God is indeed doing something in the youth prayer meeting. It's hard to explain, all I know God is moving like I've never known before. That's really worth thanking God for.