I can't fulfill the law. I can't perfectly keep the ten commandments. Not even the two which Jesus said sums up the whole law. There's no way I can get to heaven based on my merits in law-abiding. Thankfully there's Jesus. I can abide in Him. He draws me. I am safe in His arms.
or have you ever had that feeling you might be in trouble for saying something wrong about an hour ago, even with no recollection of whatever you have said at that time?
Cause I just had that feeling, but I can't even remember what I've said.
After being jobless for 3 months, there was a sudden influx of paying jobs for me - 1 corporate video & 2 wedding videos. The photo above is of Boon Yong & Poo Chan, whose wedding video I've finally handed to them last night. It was a real pleasure making videos for all my clients. I'm satisfied with my work & I hope they will be pleased as well. Though it was a long 2-month period, in which there was a point in time where I wanted to quit editing videos, I'm glad I've pulled through with better skills & wider knowledge. The money I've received couldn't match the effort & time I've invested into these videos, but these experiences have given me confidence much more valuable than money - I know I can do it, I know how I can be better & I'm sure I can make my customers happy.
There is another video editing work that I must complete (GetLife:TOUCH Camp 09), but right now I'm looking forward towards using my other talents. For Christmas, I'm working together with Benjamin Soo on musical performances for TOUCH Christmas on December 26. I love performing songs & I'm excited to do Christmas songs' covers with the youths. There's also something on the cards for Easter - I won't say too much about now as not everything is finalized. But it's an opportunity to get back to drama / skit once again. I'll reuse the RE:TUNE (remember?) storyline - only this time it'll be bigger, grander. If that goes really well, I'll definitely make it into a movie =)
That's all I have right now. Will write more soon.
This post is meant as a follow up to this one.
I've come to an age where statistically, 80% of my peers will lose their excitement in attending church services & serving God, resulting in a few eventually walking out of the church & even the faith. Those that remain will spend a lot of their time in church with 2 things - talking about those who left; and wondering why they stayed.
Did the church change? Or did we?
I believe one of the key contributing factors of this sad situation is misplaced expectations. Perhaps for far too long we have placed our expectations of Jesus upon the church. How did that happen? How did we replace Jesus, our covenant keeping God, with the earthly, imperfect church? Unconsciously & unintentionally, we, with 2nd-hand faiths, allowed ourselves to rely & depend upon the church to feed our spirituality. And due to that dependency, our personal relationship with Jesus Christ became an exact duplication of the spiritual atmosphere of the church.
This post is specially for those who don't feel happy being in church anymore. I see you, & I feel you. You're not alone in this. There are people saying healing & joy has come, but you're not feeling it; you're not believing it. I'm with you. I hope this post will encourage you & bless you.
It took us a while to decide if we're going to church camp or not. It wasn't a small decision for us - my wife & I had nights where we would just be crying on our bed as we talked about it. The past year had been a wild journey for us. The only reason we survived through it was because we hung on to the knowledge that in all of the storm, God is with us. And indeed He was.
You see, I used to be associated as the pastors' son. I hated every generalization that came with it, but at the same time I was proud to be the pastors' son. When my mom preached about Sons vs Servants, I immediately (wrongly) took on the identity as a son in the house - I became the son of the church. And when my father resigned from the church, I thought I had nothing left but to be a rebel.
But God has pulled me out of that now. He's taken me on a journey, teaching me about our adoption as children of God. I'm not a son of the church. I am a child of God. You see (again), if we base our identity in anything other than our position in God, we will crumble. If our source of life, joy, strength & hope is anything other than Jesus Himself, we will run dry.
If you let me, I could think of so many reasons to walk out of the church & just plant myself somewhere else. No church is perfect, but at least it'll be a new start - I'll be appreciated, I might get paid for my service, and it'll be years before anyone realizes what an idiot I am!! So why are we still in FCC, serving in the youth ministry & music team? Well, there's only 1 reason really - God hasn't said anything yet. And until He does, I must be faithful with the gifts & the responsibilities entrusted to me. As long as I'm still here, I will love the local church & the people in it. It's not because there's a new pastor or a new church board, or that the youth ministry is growing - it's simply listening & obeying to voice of the One whom I belong to.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this - FIX YOUR EYES ON JESUS. Do not depend on anyone or anything else. Desire to know His love for you & respond accordingly, & everything else will be an overflow out of that relationship.
GetLife09 was awesome!! So awesome that it has restored my faith in camps. Thank God for open heavens at youth camp '09 & beyond.
Looking back now, God's hand had been with us all along. Yes, there was a dark cloud hovering above us - but our God is King above the storms, & He is Emmanuel, God with us. Throughout the camp, we prayed for open heavens & praise be to God for answering our plea. I praise God for the work He has done amongst us in this youth camp. Lives were touched, & 1 soul was added to the Kingdom!! YAY!!
1 thing that amazed me was that everybody that should have been at GetLife09 were there. And I'm happy to have witnessed the display of excellence by all campers, especially in the 3 days Amazing Race. Kudos to the camp committee for creating a race that drew the best out of everyone, & congratulations to all participants for their passion & enthusiasm.
There's really no telling what this generation can do in God - the sky's the limit. And personally, it's both comforting & scary. Comforting, because I know that this generation is in God's hand & God will use us to do great things; scary, because as a leader, I have the responsibility to lead without overshadowing or hindering the growth of each individual - finding that balance has been a challenge I knew I had to face. But this is a sign of critical mass, a place where small moves will determine if we leap ahead or fade away.
And therefore, now more than ever, is our time to do that one thing that's needed, that one good, noble thing - to sit at the feet of Jesus, to draw joy, peace, strength; to get life from the everlasting source.
Get life, till our cups overflow.
Yes I still do see the dark cloud hovering over the sky. As our youth camp approaches I begin to see a storm brewing. But that's not going to intimidate us. Our God is bigger, stronger, tougher, greater... We just gotta keep praying & keep praising until we see a clear blue sky and then do some more praying & praising.
Here are some photos of the hardworking youth camp committee - just riding the storms & enjoying the moment in Jesus:
Here's Jacklyn after an all-nighter in Megah Court. Notice how small her car is!!
Later we also worked in the church office. Thank you Aunty Agnes for helping out!!On Friday, as I was preparing for the youth service the next day, a picture dropped into my thoughts - it was a dark cloud hovering over the sky. & with that, I begin to have a clearer understanding of the things that I've been experiencing for a long while now.
You see, I've been noticing a lot of strange behaviour. There was something weird in the spiritual atmosphere, but I couldn't pin-point what it was. Somehow people around me (even myself) are making senseless decisions, acting & behaving senselessly. Often times I find myself reflecting upon incidents & situations, and later say "that doesn't make sense" - that has been my catch-phrase for the longest time.
If I begin to tell you all the happenings that have led me to such conclusion, you would probably find logical explanations for all of them - and you would be right. I could too. But something was tugging my heart, leading me to believe that there are movements beyond the logical that we can't see. The church word to use here is spiritual discernment.
I shared that picture of a dark cloud with the youths. I believe God showed me this picture, not for me to be fearful of it, but that I will cling onto faith - to use all the things provided unto us on the cross of Calvary & somehow punch a hole through that dark cloud. And so we sang, like Paul & Silas in shackles, believing that as we open our mouths & declare the praises of God & His Kingdom, He will open the heavens & stay. And when God comes, you can be sure that the earth will tremble, & dark clouds be pierced.
Either led by the Spirit or just me running out of a song to sing, I asked the youth if anyone had a song in their hearts. Justin gave a fast song - a song that declares that Jesus is good, & in His presence we have nothing to fear. I thank God for that song, for it assures me that whatever storms we're facing or dark clouds hovering over our lives, we have God as our anchor, we have Jesus in the boat with us. Amen & amen.
Parents' Appreciation Day has come and gone. My thanks & congratulations to all TOUCH members who were involved that day. The ushers, the food, kitchen staff, performances, speeches, games - you were all exceptional in your work. I'm proud of each and everyone of you. I also want to thank the parents for their participation & patience throughout the event. I'm especially glad to have had the opportunity to address the youths & parents together. And of course, my deepest appreciation goes to our TOUCH Core leaders, especially Jacklyn Kang.
Will recap on PAD 09 as soon as we have the video & photos ready. But now, we can finally look forward towards...
I did not expect preaching on this chapter could be so important for my soul. I took 2 youth services to complete John chapter 10, & on both those Saturday nights, I found myself crying myself to sleep as I reflect upon the words of Jesus. It was as if I was part of the audience, as if I was preaching to myself - only that the words sunk in hours after the service.
On a personal level, 2 things really got hold of me. Firstly, is how much Jesus values my life. In verse 3 & 4, Jesus said that He, the Good Shepherd, calls us by name & goes before us. Verse 29 & 30 paints a picture of us as a gift so precious that both The Father & The Son are united towards the efforts of ensuring that this gift is never snatched out of their hands. These verses tell me that my life, my very existence is extremely precious to Him; that we are not random accidents or the result of the Big Bang, but clearly created, chosen & called unto His purposes.
Secondly, are the many provisions He has given unto us. Verse 17 & 18 basically tells us that Jesus had the right, the authority, & the freedom to whatever He wanted to do - yet being in perfect oneness with the Father, He chose to die for our salvation & freedom. He wanted us to enjoy the abundant life so badly, that He willingly laid down His own. And through the perfect sacrifice by the perfect One, we receive our son ship, & all good things as our inheritance. He empowers us with all these things, because He wants us to unleash the potential He has placed in us - & thus fulfilling the purposes He has set for our lives.
Having these truths, how can we not view our lives differently? Trials, difficulties, circumstances of past & present - in all of it, He's there. No wonder Paul could boldly write Romans 8: 30 - 39.
30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written:
“ For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”
37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
TOUCH's Parents' Appreciation Day is here again & I'm getting really excited about it. Things are starting to fall into place & at the moment, we have 22 adults confirmed to attend this event. We do hope for more parents to make it, as we have really great performances lined up to bless our parents. Yesterday while we had our final briefing, I just sense the excitement from those performing special numbers. What pleases me also is that this year we won't be re-using the songs from Mothers' Day & Fathers' Day (last year we used our Sisters' Day & Fathers' Day songs), as those songs were really unique & special, and should remain as such. There's even a possibility of yet another original song!! That would be great addition to an already wonderful event.
Do pray for me as I will once again be giving a speech as youth leader. I rarely get an opportunity to speak to an adult audience over the pulpit (so far this is my 2nd time). But I really desire to be a blessing to them through my words & also let them experience a little of TOUCH. I hope I succeed.
Very privileged to have written this song with along this group - Joseph, Esther, Anna, Jacklyn, Chi Wing & Lynn Yen. All of them wrote their own parts & thus made the song extremely unique. Not forgetting also May & Ken Chung for helping to compose the initial format, chorus & melody.
I think this song will be remembered for many years to come.
No, no tomorrow. The youth is part of the church, along with the elderly, adults, & children. Together, we are all part of the church today. Get it straight. When you (especially the leaders of the church) think that the youth is the church of tomorrow, what do you have now & will always have? An adult church. Having such a mindset actually hinders the growth of the church. The adults will be thinking 'Ah, they're just youths, they can't do it yet'. & the youths will be thinking ' Ah, someday when I'm 40 I'll reach my God-given potential' - this causes the church to be ineffective as people with the right gifts are not placed at the right positions, as people of age & supposed maturity level assume roles out of necessity.
Why not now? Why can't a youth lead prayer meeting? Why can't they preach on Sunday or in cell service? Why aren't they nominated into the church board?? Why can't they have a say in the way church should be? Are we despising our youths? Are we letting young people despise their youth?
No matter your age, you have a purpose & a role to play in the local church. Get clear directions from God, humble & equip yourselves, rise towards your God-given potential & take your place in the Kingdom of God. Let us unite to build the church, TODAY.
With that said, I will be posting my sermons on this blog of mine, in hope that as I share my findings, people will find out about this awesome person we know as Jesus. & I invite you all to be part of this amazing journey of discover Him.
On Mothers' Day last month, I had the privilege to songlead in Lemuel's church (I guess we'll have to refer to him as Pastor Lemuel now). My mom was invited to preach that Sunday, & initially I was charged to be her driver. But then something came up & somehow I was invited to songlead. The church was also short of musicians that day, so I immediately seized the opportunity to ask my favourite keyboardist, Ken Chung, to come along. It was great to receive an immediate positive response from him.
You see, almost 10 months ago, Ken Chung & I (and also May) made the decision to step down from the music ministry. It wasn't an easy choice - we love playing good music, we knew our calling as musicians, & our band has come a long way. But this was a decision we knew we had to make, & having a friend along made it much simplier. So with the opportunity to return behind the mic stand, I was very pleased to have Ken Chung as a band member again.
We had to practise on Sunday morning itself. Had Jason & Joshua to provide the bass & the drums, while Lemuel played the electric guitar. Yet, in spite of the rush & playing with strangers, both Ken Chung & I felt at ease - it was almost like we never left. I believe that's the anointing of God upon us, confirming & assuring us of our calling once again, and telling us the season to return to the music ministry is near. For that, I am grateful.
NO - having a pastor who follows God wholeheartedly isn't nearly as good as having Jesus Himself leading the church.
My brain just froze after typing the statement above. Why? Because it's hard to imagine a situation where one has to make such a statement. It's a no-brainer. How can someone compare a pastor to Pastor Jesus, and then say both are just as good? No no no... No no no. NO!!
There are pastors whom I personally know and have tremendous respect for - including my parents and my brother. They are wonderful people who pursue God's heart with great passion. But they are not and will never be just as good as Pastor Jesus. No one will be as good - that knowledge is the starting point for salvation!! Perhaps there are certain aspects of their ministry or their character which are like our Saviour - but never as good as. I would have Jesus Christ as my pastor any day of the week. I'm sure pastors I know will share my preference.
Micah 6:6 - 8 raises a very important question - one we should ask often - What is pleasing & good in the sight of our God? Is it our giving, our sacrifices, songs, & various acts of service unto him? The answer - act justly, love mercy, walk humbly.
Jesus also spoke on this in Matthew 23:23 - citing justice, faith, & mercy as weightier matters of the law. Yes He did!! According to Jesus, these are more important things that we must not neglect. Paul resounded the importance of the matter in 1 Cor 13:1-3. And it is simply summed like this - without love, nothing we do - be it of good intentions or with great excellence - would matter.
I believe a shift in focus is necessary. The church, collectively, needs that. After all, the church is the body of Christ, purposed & empowered to do good & spread love on this earth. For too long we have been focusing on excelling in the duties we perform within the 4 walls of our building. Even our best 'reaching out' efforts are mostly aimed at bringing people into the church first.
I look at myself, & things I'm supposedly good at - song leading, script writing, teaching... All these are good gifts from God, but so far I've been using them effectively only within a church setting. I can think of so many good things we do within the church, but my brain gets stuck when it comes to schools, neighbourhoods, cafes, community halls, etc. It's not that we don't care - it's that we don't care enough to think more about it.
I'm not saying that excelling in church duties & in-house evangelistic programmes are wrong; I'm asking if those are the only things we know how to do.I'm talking about a shift in focus, a change of paradigm.
John 13:35 - By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.
As I participated in the corporate worship & communion in my home church on Resurrection Sunday, I was reflecting again on an entire year that has gone by - a time of trials and storms indeed.
Compassion, love, mercy, & unity were all severely lacking - basically they were all thrown out the window, replaced by law & rules, condemnation... I won't go into the details of what transpired in these times, but here's what's what in short: My family members were targets of accusations & prejudices coming from the very people we gave our lives to serve; changes were abruptly implemented on the basis of "i have a revelation from God & you're filthy with sin"; and without warning / notice / explanation, I was relieved of my leadership positions. Though now I'm still the youth leader, I've not been serving in the music team since June 08.
While I was reflecting about all that & participating in communion for the first time in 10 months (I refused to partake of an inferior brand of Jesus' blood), I felt God impressed the word 'RESTORATION' onto my heart. I don't know if it's a message also for the church, but personally, yes, I do feel that I've lost many things, & many things have been taken away from me. Yet I'm reminded of the provision available to me through the death and resurrection of Jesus. The blessing outweighs the curse, the joy overcomes sorrow. YES!! I believe.
Be it unto me, according to Your word. I believe.
1. What your ambition?
To be a filmmaker that impacts the community around me positively.
2. Who is more important to you? friends/boys/girlfriends
Friends. I don't care for boys, & I already have a wife.
3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
Once a year I think. But God has His perfect timing...
4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
No. I don't say what I need to say half of the time.
5. How many babies do you want?
2 sets of twins.
6. What is your goal for this year?
Make my freelance job a sustainable one.
7. Do you believe in eternal love?
Yes. No other reason to live without it.
8. Do you want to change your real name?
Only when people continuously mispronounce it.
9. What feeling do you love the most?
When people show concern for my feelings.
10. What are your bad habits?
Procrastinating, speak too slowly, cause misunderstanding.
11. Is there anything you want to tell to people who hate you?
Thank you I appreciate you. Seriously.
12. Do you cherish every friendship you have?
Certainly.
13. What does flying means to you?
Floating in mid air / admiring the view from way up.
14. Who do you love?
What do you need? You're messing up my mind, wasting all my time...
Congratulations to all the cast members for putting on a great performance. It was fun working with you guys. Based on the audience's response, I believe we can make the skit better (back to the writing). Maybe for Easter. What say you?
Big thanks to Josephine for documenting the performance. Check all the photos here.
Finally something to blog about without offending some poor guy's feelings...
I knew 3 weeks is too short a time to prepare for a skit, but saying 'yes' wasn't a difficult decision to make. There was a tugging in my heart & I knew we should do it. Besides, who knows what the future holds for TOUCH & our God-given dreams come April? Could this be our last hurray? I don't know; all I know is we must put on a great performance & deliver the gospel.
Credit to my wife, May, for coming up with the initial idea. And with the help of Justin and Daniel (decided to keep the script writing team tight this time), this one might just be our best script yet!! Everything will be done in just one scene - something we haven't tried before. So it's gonna be interesting...
The greatest pressure will of course fall on the actors & actresses. We only finished the script last Saturday, & our practices will be have be squeezed into the next few days. Adding further to the fact that there's a lot of script to remember (even though it's only 1 scene), this is the first time I'm writing the script without basing on any of our casts. So the actors & actresses will have to really ACT this time - a challenge I believe the cast is more than capable of.
Here are snap shots of my co-writers:
Sunday, March 22nd 2009, 5.30pm - 7.30pm.
The Ambassadors International Church KL
Komplex Mutiara 10th floor
Unit 568-10-7
Jalan Ipoh Batu 3 1/2,
51200 KL.
This whole week I've been reminded, time & time again, that I still have not 'arrived'; that I'm still so un-Christlike in a million ways and that time & age won't get me there. As I step back & observe how people deal with one another, I notice the fact that too often I fail to do what I know is right. I'm a big fat hypocrite - my words are louder than my actions. I am able to tell others what to do yet I fail miserably in behaving correctly. I speak without listening; I teach without applying...
Here's my application for The Best Job In The World... Check it out... If you like my video, please go to this link & vote. My goal is to at least get to the top 11 shortlisted candidates. & at least top the Malaysian contestants lah... I must own!!
This year's Chinese New Year is our first as a married couple. Never mind having to give angpao (red packets with money inside), someone somewhere somehow started this thing where all first timers like May and myself will have to give double - 2 angpaos to every person. I suspect that it all happened when a crazed old uncle drank too much beer... The easy way out was of course divide the originally set amount by 2. May hasn't had a full time job since November, & my freelance jobs give no fixed salaries. So it would only be fair to expect us to give a minimum amount.
But our God isn't a minimum God. He's a HOW MUCH MORE God. He's the ever-giving, ever-blessing master, & in Him we do not worry. Consider the fact that I've been without a stable, fixed salary for almost 20 months & have no lack; how about the fact that my family doesn't have much financially, yet we are paying a morgage & God still uses us to bless others; take into account how we did not have any money to get married & yet managed to receive a great surplus from our wedding dinner... That's the awesomeness of our God. How can we, then, give others based on how much we gain from our earthly paymasters?
And so we gave more than what people say we should. It was never about hoping that God will reward us as we obey His voice - we know that God loves us no matter our obedience & our performance, as His faithfulness and loving-kindness endures forever. We just know that He will take care of us, & so there's no need to give in weariness.
Giving certainly feels better than receiving - & that was a reward in itself. But God displayed His awesomeness again (in youth ministry, we accept the term SHOW OFF. We believe God wouldn't mind it too) by providing May with a kindergarten job - it's 10-minutes' drive away, pays decent, & owned by a lovely, generous couple. With that, I have green light to continue in my freelance work. An added bonus is that our beloved friend, Rabeeka Raj, is working alongside May & is actually loving it over there.
I praise Him & will continue to live my life trusting Him. God, You're such a show-off. I like it. Do continue to show off Your awesomeness through our lives. Amen.
I was just thinking about how awesome it is to be a youth worker in a local church now. Especially now - in this time of age where youths are despised & generalized negatively (yes even in the church) - it feels awesome to be the few who understands enough to stand by them through this crazy stage of their lives. It's such a great honour, joy, privilege, and responsibility!! Too many people choose to dwell on the little things that supports their childish, unfounded prejudices. With that they miss out on amazing things that God will do in & through this generation, and for that I pity them.
To the people of TOUCH, I want you to know that I love this youth group very much!! I'm so thankful for your trust towards me, allowing me to walk with you & participate in your life journey. I've been amazed by what God has done in your lives & I'm extremely excited about what He plans to do amongst us. The world & even people in the church may despise you - let them be - the important thing is that you don't despise yourselves, because you are the apple of His eye. Don't ever forget that.
