Known or Evaluated

I think this message is an amazing one. What do you live for - to be known or to be evaluated? Our choice will be reflected in our actions, our behaviour, our character, and ultimately, determines our destiny. Wow... I strongly recommend everyone to read this. Look deep within and be  HONEST with yourself.

Finding a balance

As of now, I am suffering from lack of rest, of which last night reached the climax (3 hours of sleep). For about a month or so, work has really taken a toll on me. Apart from having favour to attend church programmes, I've been working late nights every night. Reaching home late, sleeping late, waking up early. Having exams this week (Tuesday and Thursday), I took leave from Tuesday noon till Thursday, and had one whole day for rest and study on Wednesday. And well, all the effort has paid off, for the exams, anyway. I had to focus on the few subjects I want to study as I can't possibly make up for the times I missed class. Thank God, everything went according to plan.

But now as I type, my body is weak, and so is my soul, both deprived of many things I've used to enjoy before this whole being-a-grown-up thing... it's a whole new experience, and it has opened up my eyes. Past training has helped me to cope and handle many new challenges with maturity, wisdom, and in some ways, homour. But still there's so much to learn, so much more to improve...

Without a doubt my heart's desire is to reach my colleagues with the love of God. My intention (or desired intention, if you may) is to share the love of Jesus because I've tasted and I know what this love is. Love is my main objective, not conversion. And my colleagues seem to like my non-offending, non-rebuking, non-condemning way of carrying myself as a Christian. They like it that I don't threathen the beliefs they hold or their way of life. They like it that I'm not like the other Christians they know, always trying to win them into joining their religion and church. And their liking has caused my soul to be troubled.

The gospel is an offending message, in some ways. It says that you're not good enough to redeem yourself from the consequences of your evilness. It tells you that no man is good, except God. It tells you that you need to die to yourself, in order that you gain the eternal life. It tells you that on that day, God judges all deeds, both hidden and known, good and evil...

And so as I run with this God-given dream to display that undying love through a potrait of life, I want my life to be a display of that balance between the extremes - to love enough to speak forth truth, to love enough to just love. And so help me, God.

Could I ever

When I woke up today, I thought of all the things I've done, and all the things He's done - showing grace time and time again. It's so hard to comprehend that kind of love, and it is this very mystery is what drives me to desire to know this Dream-giver. And maybe you too, are overcomed by it all.

And I know that this Dream-giver, or grace-giver, if you will, loved me and loves me even when I don't love Him back. He still extends, with arms open wide, that invitation to participate in His resurrected life and His coming Kingdom. But I, and maybe even you, still am incapable of extending that same grace to others. Not like how Jesus would.

Yes, I wonder if I would still struggle - to look in the eye of a unrepentive someone with love and compassion; to love and accept without pre-judgment; to meet a need before pointing out a wrong; to hate the sin and still love the sinner. Could I ever be like the One who gave such amazing grace and love? Could I ever live and walk reflecting these awesome gifts of forgiveness and salvation?

So once again, Lord, I stand in awe at the foot of the tree, knowing that You hung there bearing my sins even when my heart was lost. Change my heart, thoughts, and attitude. Help me love like You do. May my heart truly belong to You, and be Yours.

All the same

"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23

I think this verse sets everything clear. There is no man on earth who can claim that he is better than another. Nope. No matter what deeds a person have performed - good or bad... Everyone needs to change, everyone needs to improve, everyone can contribute something to make the world a better place. W e all have something we are ashamed of, which makes us the same and therefore have nothing to be ashamed of. It's just that you and I face different problems. Some are addicted to smoking, to drugs, to sex, to gambling, to pride - all of us need a saviour.

I think it's better to have such a perpective. It opens up so much more opportunities for healing, for making the world a better place. Judging others only binds their soul even more, but relating and understanding breaks down many walls. Yes, rules and regulations are necessary. But rarely do people change because greater punishment have been imposed. Yes, it's important to point out the wrong and stand for the truth. But a child won't grow up healthy if a parent keeps pointing out how dumb he is. No one will ask you for help if you constantly point out their wrong. That hurts the soul even more.

We need to make practical steps to help people to get out of their bad habits, their addictions. And it has to start with love. It has to start with breaking down our pride and self-righteousness. It has to start with the realisation that it's the blood of Jesus that has cleansed and clothed us with His righteousness. Without it we are nothing, so let's stop pretending we are worth something. Let's stop categorizing people and placing judgement. Deep inside, we are all needing a saviour, a healer, a restorer, a comforter, a friend. We're all the same.

If we really want to help make the world a better place, we have to live knowing truth and grace, appreciating truth and grace, sharing truth and grace. Jesus is the Saviour we need.