It's that feeling again.

My spirit was really troubled this past Sunday. I couldn't understand why at first. I mean, I do know why I was feeling a bit upset that Sunday. Things happening around didn't really please my eye. But there was this feeling inside my spirit that I couldn't figure the cause for...

 

I completed the usual tasks of mine and headed to the corner of the santruary, where youth service will commence soon. My spirit was still troubled, so I became quiet before God. Stopped trying to figure why I was sensing such sorrow, just let the Spirit do the talking. It didn't take long before I came to a realisation - So much has not changed...

 

So much hasn't changed, and most of it has to do with me. God has done so much to assist me along the way, but somehow I have not experience the breakthrough, the personal revival I need. Not enough discipline, not enough passion, not enough initiative, not enough love... I have not done my part to the best of my ability. I let myself down, I let the people God has placed in my life down, I let the Dream-Giver down. I keep blaming and pointing fingers for how things are now, but I forget that I am also responsible in building the Kingdom.

 

Yes, things need to be changed. And that change has to start with me. I remember saying that before... I'm the biggest hypocrite I know. So help me God. Thank God for grace.