They showed me Jesus

It's amazing how God chooses to speak to us. I am so grateful that my God is creative. It would be pretty dull to listen that monotoneous, deep, bassy voice, and echoes... Come to think of it, that's a bad representation of how He would sound if we heard Him with an audible voice. Heaven's sound system is the best - so won't have echoes & feedback...

 

Anyway, went to pasar malam (night market) on Monday after my work. It was a stressful day and I thought that I would just grab something to eat & return home. But God had something different installed for me. He used the hawkers to cheer me up. The locksmith was confident he could duplicate my keys in 1 minute & I actually timed him!! He missed his mark & we laughed about it. Then this guy was giving his last call as I walked pass his satay stall. I thought I heard him shout 20 cents but it was 30 cents. Then I counted 12 stickes left but he counted 13, and I was wrong again. Had a good laugh there too.

 

Walking away I just wanted to cry. I saw Jesus in them that night. Each one that I have encountered in that short period of time has blessed me with conversation and their smile. Each one of them were created in the image of God and has the form of God. They just don't realise or acknowledge the power source. Each one is capable of loving & caring & blessing someone's life. 

 

Now I need to digest this truth and bring it to my workplace, church, and my neighbourhood. Somehow the more you spend time with people you tend to look at their weaknesses & flaws instead. Maybe we got off the wrong foot. I need to see people through the eyes of Jesus.

 

Hmm. That last statement I made... I know it but maybe I have not learned how to. Maybe I should go to pasar malam more often.

Carry On We Shall

Following up on our previous gathering for a time of seeking, we did it again last Saturday. The number increased from 4 to 6. We prepared ourselves to seek His direction for our lives. We determined in our hearts not to put God in a box & expect Him to speak about a particular situation - ministry, relationships, work... We wanted to hear from Him. We wanted to know what's in His heart.

 

We started off with what we were familiar with - singing songs to Him with just the guitar and our voices. I was a bit concerned when we got rather loud. It's a good thing that the house beside mine was unoccupied. Furthermore, our singing was quite lovely - if compared to the Karaoke sessions during the Hungry Ghost festival.

 

Waiting upon Him wasn't an easy thing to do considering I had been through 2 long days. I was starting to wonder if I'll get Him this time when He finally spoke. He warned that we shouldn't give Him a timeline to show up. Fair enough - He is God after all. Then I saw another motion picture in my head. The scenes starts of with a front view of a tall building. It looks strong & elegent. However, the camera quickly moves to the side of the building & enters through the window to reveal the inside part of the building, which isn't as majestic as the front view implied.

 

Feel that God was saying that we have come to Him hiding the true condition of our hearts. In spite of that, He was determined to move into our inward parts & confront us with those things that we hoped He would not bring up. How foolish to try to hide from the very person who knows everything & still loves!! But doesn't that just show how insecure and ignorant we are about His love? God said that He was determined to hold on to us this time. Wow!!

 

God spoke to everyone in the room. Perhaps they should tell you what they heard. God really led us in His presence. The right songs, the right words... It was like when we entered into His House He took the lead - rightfully so, of course.

 

The desire of my heart now is to share this experience with my youth group & teach them to do the same in their cell groups. I believe He is raising up a generation of GodSeekers & GodChasers.

Open Up Our Hearts

Divine appointment led this brother to my house late Monday night. I opened up my house & he opened up his heart. It's one of those rare-and-should-happen-more-often moments, where one poured out his heart and shared his life experience, sorrow & hurt, hope, wrong-doing, desires... I was really humbled by this brother's honesty & sincerity. He had a broken spirit - perfect for God to begin His work of restoration. And He is doing that.
Throughout our entire conversation I was just in awe of God's goodness. I feel so honoured & privileged & humbled (does this make sense?) that He sent someone for me to minister and be ministered to in this manner. He's telling me something, I just can't figure it all out yet.

This Saturday a bunch of us are gathering in my house for a time of seeking God again. My heart is filled with fear, excitement, joy, hope. God is good.

Do not shut the heavens... but open up our hearts.

Time of Breaking and Refreshing

I felt Jesus over the weekend. I felt Jesus breaking me - tearing down all my ideas of prayer, worship, and church. I felt His presence when I was with Kelvin in the car and at lunch; I sensed His covering when I was watching football (looking at a small screen from a distance) with Brian & Caleb; I saw Him paint a picture when 4 of us - Caleb, Jason, Ken, myself - as we spent time waiting upon God.

 

I couldn't go on with prayer meeting that Saturday afternoon, because as I walked into the sanctuary God spoke. He asked me if I would attend church or youth service or  prayer meeting or cell group if I were not a leader, if I didn't have a say of how things are to be done in the church. Maybe I have misused the church to my own pleasure. Have I been another consumer of the church? Bending and pull strings together to make sure that church becomes what I want her to be. He invited him to search my heart, release all my mindsets and let Him redefine what church is all about and teach me how I can give to its cause.

 

In my room that night, we decided that we should be just still and let God speak to us. God drew us near and spoke to us. In my mind a movie was screened. I was a leper coming in God's house. I took off my cape and uncovered my face. I acknowledge that my sin and pride and hypocrisy brought these hurts upon myself. I just wanted it all to go away. I showed Him my hurts and asked Him to make me whole again.

 

I waited for His response. But He did something unexpected - He showed me His hands. He told me that my sin and pride and hypocrisy has caused many hurts to me and the people around me, but I hurt Him the most. On my knees, I held His hand and cried. I hurt the one who loves me most.

 

That reminded me again that it's all about Jesus and I. It's all about Jesus and I. What Ken shared was similiar. He saw a river, and he was dancing and rejoicing in the river. He was telling everyone about it, asking them to jump into the river and join in the celebration. But no one responded to his plea. Then God spoke, "Why are you dancing and rejoicing in the river and telling everyone of this river while you have not drank from this river? Drink the water of this river for yourself."...

 

God spoke further through Jason, giving 2 words - Breaking and Refreshing. It's certainly true for me. I feel Him breaking me. He's doing it because He wants to renew me. For that, I am grateful.